Thoughts ARCHIVES

I’m Actually Mixed: Half-Gemini, Half-Taurus

I’ve Finally Met The Man I’m Going to Divorce Someday

DUDE CORNER: If Women Get Free Tampons, I Should Get Free Red Bull

Sorry, I Couldn’t Hear You Over the Sound of Me Owning a French Press

I LIVED IT: I Had to Poop Right After I Took a Shower

I LIVED IT: I Fucked Dobby

My Sugar Daddy Just Wants Me to Get Good Grades

Life Is a Mystery, and So Is This Discharge

How I Got Ahead of Tax Season by Having My Dad’s Guy Do Them

Getting a Brazilian Hurts Everywhere – Except For My Tough, Tough Asshole

I Can’t Make You Love Me, But Trust Me I Will Fucking Try

I Need to Know Who Bit Beyonce Because I Just Wanna Talk to Them

How I Got Everyone to Shut the Fuck Up About Their Standing Desks With My Standing Toilet

How I Use Movement to Show Everyone in This Coffee Shop That I Teach Yoga

I LIVED IT: I Forgot About Scarves This Winter

I’m Slowly Learning Who I Am, and Honestly I Don’t Care for Her

My Skin is So Thirsty it Fucked My Upstairs Neighbor

I Hate To Say Goodbye, but I Love to Watch His Lil’ Boy Butt Walk Away

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