How to Pretend You Were Listening by Answering, ‘Heeeey, Macarena’ in a Neutral Tone
Do NOT do the dance.
How to Explain to Your White Friends That You Don’t Know Who Billy Joel is Because Your Dad is an Immigrant
It’s not your fault!
How to Explain What a Bonnet is to Your White Partner in a Condescending Way
You need to glare at them for at least 20 minutes. No more, no less.
3 At-Home Cocktails to Make When You Realize You Aren’t Your Best Friend’s Best Friend
Finish your Martini.
How to Be a Good Friend Even Though You’ll Never Be as Good as Britney’s Assistant Felicia
We bet you couldn’t, you weak-willed enabler!
How to Make Your Arms Look Toned and Not Flabby but Not too Toned That You Wish They Looked More Flabby
If you’re stressed and confused, you’re doing it right!
How to Use a Garden Hose Without Pretending You Have a Long, Green Dick
Limit Yourself to Three Inches of Hose.
4 Absolute Terrors From High School Who Are Now Feminist Influencers
You should reach out and see if she’ll send you a free pair of leggings to keep quiet about her past!
QUIZ: Will the Teens on My Block Make Fun of Me for Wearing These Sneakers?
Do I look like a 30-year-old Euphoria extra?
QUIZ: Can You Make It Out Of This Collapsed Mineshaft Without Bringing Everyone Into Your Drama?
This is exactly why your ex said you were toxic!
4 Apocalypse-Ready Workouts Even Though You’d Die The Instant You Run Out Of Contacts
If you ask us, you shouldn’t bother with any of this.
3 SAD Lamps Who Should Just Try Going For a Run or Something?
They probably just need a pep talk or something like that.
How to Install a Floating Shelf and Then Worry About it Forever
It’s probably supposed to be like that!
Tiny Tattoos for Tattoo-Loving Cowards
This petite tat will have an infinite capacity to remind you of all the chances you wish you had taken.