4 Classic 18th Century Novels to Embark Upon Now That Your Vibrator Died Without your vibrator as a distraction, dive into the rich, fantastical world of Robinson Crusoe.
QUIZ: Do You Have a Sore Throat Because You’re Sick or Because You Can’t Shut the Fuck Up? It may or may not have started after I screamed, “THIS IS MY FUCKING JAM!” in my friend Jessica’s ear.
How to Bond With Your Baby When It Didn’t Come With a Cute Little Hat Understand that this is a real, human infant, not a Sonny Angel.
QUIZ: Do You Have Burnout or Do You Just Hate It Here? Things are generally shit right now across the board, and that could be it, too.
How to Watch Someone Navigate a TV Menu Even Though They’re Doing It Differently Than You Would Try to focus on reacting with grace, calm, and a full heart.
QUIZ: Should You Sign Up for Pottery Class or Just Roll Around in Mud Like a Little Pig? “I’m just interested in being covered head to toe in muck like how a hog is.”
QUIZ: Are You Normal About the Small Gifts People Give You, or Do You Have Dead Flowers Pinned to Your Wall? Do you feel worthy of love?
How to Get Him to Text You as Much as a Blood Donation Center in Urgent Need of Type O-Negative Opt for a more urgent message like, “I need your help!” or “Good citizens of New York, lives are on the line!”
How to Believe in Yourself as Much as You Believe in Astrology Remember that you’re the person your birth chart is talking about.
4 Holiday Traditions for Adult Siblings That Are All Drugs It’s kind of like Mary and Joseph searching Bethlehem for shelter, but this time, you’re going as far as you can to get super fucked up.
How to Cook Dinner When Your Counter Only Fits One Plate Start thinking of the floor as a “ground-level counter top.”
How to Give the Perfect Gag Gift by Getting Them Nothing The gift of laughter you’re providing for them is a million times better!
How to Act Chill Around Your Friend’s Baby Even Though Its Skull Is Made of Playdough Insist the baby wear some sort of protective headgear.
How I Used ChatGPT to Write an Apology for Using ChatGPT to Write My Wedding Vows “I love you insert name, and I’ve loved you ever since we met in insert year.”
How to Talk on the Phone Even Though You’re Not Folding Laundry If all goes well, you’ll be able to hang up even quicker than expected!
QUIZ: Should You Buy an Airport Sandwich or Use That Money to Throw Your Dream Wedding? Because that’s about how much it costs!
Woman Decides Laundry Day Is the Perfect Day to Wear Lingerie “Fashion is all about never standing still,” she said, sniffing each of her bras to see if any were clean.