How to Date Men Even Though Their Life, Their Love, and Lady Is the Sea Trying to compete with the Majestic Deep is a futile task.
How to Make Your Relationship Work Just to Prove Your Friends Wrong Prove to your friends that they had it wrong all along.
How to Spit Out His Cum Like You’re Coughing Into a Bloody Handkerchief So, he shot his ropes into your mouth, what’s a girl to do?
How to Moan in Bed Without Sounding Like That Lady Who Fell in the Grapes Eugh euh eueh euh ehuheu euh heuhuh.
QUIZ: Do You Love Them or the TV Shows You Watch Together? You can definitely stay friends or start a podcast or something.
How to Bounce on His Dick With the Relentless Energy of the iTunes Logo When You Plug Your Phone Into Your Laptop Bounce hard, bounce fast, bounce relentlessly.
Are You Ready to Move in Together or Do You Still Need Time to Explain What Mid-Century Boho Is? Big, geometric furniture! Ottomans!
4 Perfumes to Trick Him Into Thinking You Are a Vanilla Bean Pull the wool over his nose with this olfactory trickery.
QUIZ: Is He Mysterious and Hot, or Does He Just Not Have an Instagram? He’s just an accountant who’s too boring to have any type of social media.
4 Guys You’ll Meet in your Twenties Who All Want to Teach You How to Play Pool He may not know how to do the dishes, but he knows a lot about pool.
How to Go Home With Him Without Revealing You Already Looked at His Zestimate For the love of God, don’t ask him when he painted the door red.
QUIZ: Is She Your Soulmate, or Does She Just Remind You of Shego from ‘Kim Possible’? Do you feel slightly fearful, horny, or manipulated?
Sex Positions That Still Aren’t as Fun as Riding Yoshi Around Isle Delfino Nothing will be as naughty as using a blue shell and annihilating Bowser.
QUIZ: Is She the One or Is She Just the Only Other Queer Person at Work? Would you have been interested if you two met outside of work?
4 Subtle Ways to Indicate That if He Cuts His Hair You Will Leave Him This way he will not feel like your love is conditional, which it is!
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