QUIZ: Is It Hot That She’s Reading on the Bus or Hot That She’s Not Carsick? Is she wearing motion-stabilizing glasses with viscous fluid in them to create an artificial horizon?
QUIZ: Are His Roommates Cool Enough to Make ‘Having Roommates’ Cool? Are any of them in a band? Is the band good?
QUIZ: Is He Quiet and Mysterious or Just Obeying the Laws of the Library? Has he ever told you to “Shhh”?
QUIZ: Is He Criticizing Biden in a Republican Way or in a Cool Way? Is he an avid Fox News consumer or making some really fair points about the failures of our current administration?
QUIZ: Is Your Attachment Style Anxious, Avoidant, or Divergent? Do you cling to love, run from it, or are you a dangerous entity that threatens the very foundation of our faction system?
REPORT: Boyfriend Doesn’t Like It When You Make His Penis ‘Dance Around’ Like a ‘Little Vaudevillian Showman’ The reviews are in: He fucking hated it.
5 Names to Call Him Instead of Acknowledging It Just Wasn’t a Good Fit This is a perfect opportunity to talk as much shit as possible and put the blame squarely on the other person.
Your Sex Horoscope Is Here and Honestly Things Aren’t Looking Good So I Wouldn’t Click Through No, for real, I’d skip this one.
Soft Launch? Man Publicly Requests Menial Amount of Money From Girlfriend on Venmo What a beautiful way to share the big news!
How to Apologize for Reflexively Tossing His Dick in the Vibrator Drawer After Cumming It’s just out of habit!
How to Lock It Down Even Though He Is Avoidant and a Time Traveler From the Future There’s no telling when he’ll show up, though, so be prepared to wait anywhere from one week to 20 years.
QUIZ: Do You Want a Threesome or Do You Just Want Steve Martin and Martin Short to Take Care of You? You just want two elderly best friends.
DIY Projects to Start With Your Partner and Finish With Your Ex At least you’ll have a newly refurbished kitchen island to cry on!
How to Cum So Loud It Drowns Out the YouTube Video He’s Watching at Full Volume Two birds, one stone!
First Date Ideas That Are Adventurous but Not So Adventurous You’ll Be Victim-Blamed if He Kills You What doesn’t kill you makes you still alive, and that’s a win!
Gifts for Your New Boyfriend That’ll Make Him Say, ‘Oh, We’re Doing Gifts Now?’ “Shit, I guess we’re at that stage already.”
How to Tell if He’ll Be a Good Opponent When You Argue What’s a meaningful relationship without mental stimulation?
How to Get Him to Grow Out His Hair So You Can Finally Do Avatar Sex Help him really let down his hair, so you can finally fuck it!
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