Woman Puts Straight Cis Boyfriend in Dog Collar So She Can Bring Him to Pride “I just don’t want anyone to think that we’re in a non-kinky, straight relationship.”
Hairdresser Has Own Definition of Inch “Perhaps this person understands the term inch more colloquially, as in, inching along?”
‘That’s So Funny!’ Says Woman Trying to Survive Uber Ride “Laugh at whatever your driver says and just hope you’re a good actor.”
Woman Inconsolable After Seeing Old Person Enjoying Meal Alone at Restaurant “It’s just like, why are they alone, you know?”
Woman Responds to Literally Any Question With ‘I Don’t Know, I’m Off Instagram’ “I’m finally living in the moment.”
‘Sundresses Are So Hot,’ Says Man Who Doesn’t Know What a Sundress Is “It looks so carefree and it’s just, like, summer vibes, you know?”
PETA Urges Public to Consider the Ethical Implications of Animal Crackers in Their Soup Their number-one target? Iconic former child star of the golden age of Hollywood, Shirley Temple.
Why Spending the Night in a Haunted Mansion May Be Millennials Only Chance at Home Ownership “Frankly, it’s a bad time to be entering the market as a buyer.”
Wait, What? Friend Actually Agrees Other Friend Might Be Mad At You Bystanders confirm that your world is literally turning upside down right now.
REPORT: Gen Z All the Gay Cousin Cousin stratums populated by Zoomers are now overflowing with the gay cousins.
‘Heyyyyyy!’ Texts Woman in Preamble to Request for Kidney “I wanted to seem approachable, and not like I’m gonna die if I don’t get a new kidney in the next two years, y’know?”
Couple on Tinder Seeking a Third to Do Haim’s Little Dance With Them “Maybe this is some sort of foreplay for them?”
Democrats and Republicans Finally Come Together to Do Nothing About Gun Control “Both parties are open to talk about everyone’s feelings about it on Twitter.”
Hairstylist a Little Too Passionate About How Much Better You Look Now “I bet you never thought your hair could look this good, did you?”
Master Manipulator? My Ex Genuinely Wants the Best for Me Nice try, she-devil! I’m not falling for it this time.
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