City-Dwelling Woman Reconnects With Nature by Taking Dog on Walk to Pee in Small Patch of Dirt Next to Sidewalk In a developing story out of Queens, NY, 29-year-old Violet Johnson makes a concerted effort to connect with nature every...
Man Drinking Iced Coffee in Winter With Hopes Someone Will Notice Fellow patrons heard him ask for his drink “extra cold,” which doesn’t really mean anything.
Winter Coats Taking up 99% of Space in Woman’s Apartment “I can’t have people over because there’s no space.”
‘Joy Is an Act of Resistance!’ Says White Woman Who Engages in No Other Acts of Resistance “Going to an all-inclusive resort in Cabo is the best thing I could do for my community right now.”
Barron Still Uncertain What Elon’s Role Is in Family “Every dinner, it’s just me and him at opposite ends of a comically long table.”
New Song Put to Work Immediately You immediately added it to every single playlist you’ve made since November of 2022.
Elon Musk Clarifies He Was Not Doing a Nazi Salute but Rather an Homage to a Nazi Salute “A Nazi salute looks like this, while an homage to a Nazi salute looks like this.“
REPORT: All Jeans a Little Period Stained “I guess I forgot that these ones are period stained, too.”
Woman Has Personal Goals and Rules for Herself Like Some Sort of Cop “She always goes to bed before 11 on weeknights. And it’s just like, okay? Do you fine yourself, too?”
Woman Choosing Perfume Trying to Decide Which Smell Will Best Haunt Her Next Ex In a story that highlights the importance of both thinking ahead and being an evil mastermind, 25-year-old Heidi Wilkins is...
Woman Who Forgot Own Social Security Number Just Grateful Elon Musk Knows It Jess is just happy that she can finally relieve herself of the responsibility to remember her own sensitive info.
REPORT: Woman Totally Fine as Long as She Does Week’s Worth of Work in Next 25 Minutes “FUCK, fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Food Desert? This Woman Has No Groceries and Doesn’t Want to Go Outside Unfortunately, examples of food deserts like this in US cities have become all too common.
Woman Checks Her 2024 New Years’ Resolutions Because She Loves to Hurt Her Own Feelings “Release one (1) album by November.”
Playlist That Started Out Cohesive Now Just List of Every Song Woman Has Ever Liked “Any time I liked a song, I’d kind of just stick it in ‘Brooding Morning’ to remember it for later.”
REPORT: It’s Fine for Your Friends to Rehash the Same Topics, but When You Do It Everyone Hates You “It’s normal for everyone else, but it’s super rude of you.”
‘I Feel Like the Day Is Getting Away From Me,’ Says Woman Who Is Going to Sit Motionless for the Next Six Hours “There it goes,” Liv said cryptically at 4:30 p.m. once the sun had begun to set.
Woman Who Bought Herself Flowers on a Whim Now Suspicious That She Did It out of Guilt “God, I am one conniving bitch.”