‘Being Off Instagram Has Been Good for Me,’ Says Friend Who Now Posts 90 TikToks a Day Wow, who would’ve thought?
Woman’s Fearless Pursuit of Knowledge Ends Upon Encountering a Single Paywall They couldn’t even view the article in a private tab instead!
Introverted Woman Attends Social Event to Chuckle Here And There “I knew I’d get to have a nice silent laugh or two.”
Historians Discover Three Wise Men Completely Ignored Mary’s Baby Registry “It’s pretty rude, in my professional opinion.”
Friends Perform Sacred Ritual of Commenting ‘OMG SO BEAUTIFUL!’ on Photo You Look Just Fine In “MODEL!”
REPORT: All Haters Either Jealous of or Deeply Attracted to You “Because of your natural beauty, and just your whole general vibe.”
Woman Spends Entire Concert Worrying If Friends She Invited Are Having a Good Time “I think I blacked out a little – not from the drinks, but from the exhaustion of needing everyone’s approval.”
REPORT: The Hairdresser Can’t Do It Like the Screenshot Witnesses agreed that there are some things that cosmetology school just can’t prepare you for.
Mom Wondering Why You Won’t Just Win a Nobel Peace Prize and Settle Down Like Malala Your mom maintains she isn’t asking for a lot.
‘It’s Hard to Find a Good Man These Days,’ Says Woman Who Married Your Dad Your dad once forgot your mom’s birthday two years in a row.
REPORT: The Average CEO Reads 52 Books Per Year Because They Don’t Actually Work That Much Here’s to higher earning and higher learning!
Study Finds Millions of Americans Blissfully Unaware They’re Being Broken Up With Tomorrow “They’re going to bring it up tomorrow.”
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