Man Who Prefers Brunettes Only Talking About The White Kind

In a shocking story out of Boston, MA, it has been reported that while 27-year-old Chris Duran has expressed that he prefers brunette women, he is specifically only referring to white brunette women.


“I don’t know, I just think dark hair is super hot,” said Chris, looking at a magazine picture of Natalie Portman and ignoring Rosario Dawson in the same photo. “It’s a personal preference, it’s not like I’m completely ruling other women out.”


Despite the fact that many if not most women of color have naturally brown hair, Chris has gone on to explain his subconsciously specific dating habits.


“I don’t think blondes are dumb or anything, I just would rather date a woman with brown hair,” he said, having never swiped right on any Black, Asian, Latina, or Indigenous woman with that hair color. “It’s not discriminatory, I’m allowed to be attracted to a hair color!”


Non-white brunettes across the country have confirmed that this “type” excluding brown people with brown hair is not limited to Chris.


“Cosmo will put out an article like ‘Best Hairstyles For Brunettes” or some company will release a new shampoo ‘specially formulated for brunettes’ and it’s like, say who this is really about and for,” said Asia Johnson-Wiles, a Black woman. “I have brown hair, but clearly neither of those things are for me.”


“Yeah, and porn sites will have a category called ‘Brunette’ and only have videos that feature white women,” said Violet Martinez, a Latina women. “What gives?”


“Not that I check porn sites constantly, I just…heard from a friend,” Violet added.


But Chris stands by his affinity for certain brown-haired women.



“Some people like redheads, some people like blondes,” he said. “I just happen to be a person who likes brunettes. Sue me!”


When asked how he felt about brunette women of color, Chris clarified his true feelings.


“I mean, it’s not like I’m racist, but just having brown hair doesn’t necessarily make someone a brunette,” said Chris, incorrectly. “And besides, I’m attracted to light eyes. You’re gonna tell me there are non-white women with brown hair and light eyes? Get real.”