Short-Sleeve Printed Button-Downs That Say, ‘I Dress Like a Miami Watch Dealer Now’ Stay fresh, my dude!
4 Lip Stains That’ll Make You Look Like a Naughty Little Imp Who Ate All the Cherry Tart Happy cherry tart open season!
5 Face Serums That Make You Look Like a Cute Duck Covered in Crude Oil “Please wash me in a little tub with dish soap!”
4 Clogs That’ll Have Everyone Thinking, ‘Here Comes a Little Horse’ “Ah, fooled again. It’s a woman wearing wood shoes.”
Gen Z Came to My House and Refused to Leave Until They Told Me These 5 Millennial Trends They Hate They’re coming for you next.
How to Style a Sweater Vest Without Looking Like Doug Funnie You’re young, you party, and you are definitely not an old person masquerading as a cartoon boy.
4 Nude Lipsticks That Will Have Them Saying, ‘Where Is Her Mouth?’ “Sorry, boys. Whether I’ve got the hole with the teeth and the tongue is NONE of your business.”
5 Ways to Cover Up Your Hot Outfit When You No Longer Want to Be Perceived Go from hottie to 11-year-old boy at a skate park.
How to Dye Your Hair at Home Without Unpacking All Your Traumas You’ve got a task at hand that has nothing to do with your emotional state, which, yes, is fragile.
3 Shirts You’ll Buy From a Thrift Store and Then Ruin Trying to Cut Them to a Better Length You’re definitely gonna ruin it.
3 Eye Color Palettes That Make You Look Like Lisa Frank Sat on Your Face This will make it look like Lisa topped you…hard.
$50 Serums to Put on Your Face Instead of Eating A Vegetable Whether you eat vegetables is not a moral issue, but having perfect skin totally is!
How to Treat Everyone as Your Equal Even Though You Have a Mask Chain Some people’s masks wear them, and that’s heartbreaking but true.
Fun Floral Dresses for Spring That – Wait, These Are Kids Clothes, Aren’t They? Please understand we were picturing this on the body of an adult woman.
4 Skorts That Say ‘Fuck Me, But Not in This Skort, Because There’s Shorts Under Here’ Fuck me! But expect to take my clothes off first, just like most sex.
3 Blunt Bobs to Let the World Know You’re a Sociopath These are perfect for the modern girl boss sociopath.
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