This Lipstick Is So Long Lasting It Can Be Used to Carbon Date Your Remains Millennia from now, an alien will unearth your remains and think, ‘My God, is that fire engine red?’
How to Exfoliate Your Legs Like They’re a 200-year-old, Barnacle-covered Shrimping Boat Everyone will be asking you how much shrimp you caught today!
4 Vests That Say, ‘Yeah, People Still Wear Vests’ What if a history teacher was boring in a sexy way?
How to Dye Your Hair at Home Without Unpacking All Your Traumas You’ve got a task at hand that has nothing to do with your emotional state, which, yes, is fragile.
Short-Sleeve Printed Button-Downs That Say, ‘I Dress Like a Miami Watch Dealer Now’ Stay fresh, my dude!
4 Lip Stains That’ll Make You Look Like a Naughty Little Imp Who Ate All the Cherry Tart Happy cherry tart open season!
5 Face Serums That Make You Look Like a Cute Duck Covered in Crude Oil “Please wash me in a little tub with dish soap!”
4 Clogs That’ll Have Everyone Thinking, ‘Here Comes a Little Horse’ “Ah, fooled again. It’s a woman wearing wood shoes.”
Gen Z Came to My House and Refused to Leave Until They Told Me These 5 Millennial Trends They Hate They’re coming for you next.
How to Style a Sweater Vest Without Looking Like Doug Funnie You’re young, you party, and you are definitely not an old person masquerading as a cartoon boy.
4 Nude Lipsticks That Will Have Them Saying, ‘Where Is Her Mouth?’ “Sorry, boys. Whether I’ve got the hole with the teeth and the tongue is NONE of your business.”
5 Ways to Cover Up Your Hot Outfit When You No Longer Want to Be Perceived Go from hottie to 11-year-old boy at a skate park.
3 Shirts You’ll Buy From a Thrift Store and Then Ruin Trying to Cut Them to a Better Length You’re definitely gonna ruin it.
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