Cruelty-Free Makeup for You to Be a Huge Bitch In All the cruelty-free makeup in the world won’t make your maid of honor trust you again!
3 Circle Scarves That Say, ‘I Just Don’t Think Looting is the Answer’ All you know is that what’s happening to the Target (and the Starbucks inside the Target!) is just not right!
Slutty Outfits You Can’t Wear Because Your Dad is a Strict, Overprotective Sea King Whatever, girl – make that deal with the sea witch!!
The 4 Best Mousses to Turn Your Hair Into a Crunchy Little Snack This mousse will give your hair the “oomph” it needs to go “cronch”. Delish!
Three Boxy Cable Knits That Say, ‘Can Men and Women Ever Really Be Just Friends?’ Yes, just not if they’re also in love with each other.
Haircuts That Say, ‘My Middle School Ringtone Was My Chemical Romance’s ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ We’ll carry on, we’ll carry on!!!
This Fall’s Hottest Fashion Trend––Oh Fuck, Summer’s Over?? What Am I Doing With My Life????? Wait, what happened to August???
5 Doc Marten Looks That Say, ‘I’m Attracted to All Women and Two Men’ How do you style them in a way that says, “I like men too, sometimes?”
4 Baseball Caps to Show the World You’re a Baseball Cap Girly You’re a down-to-earth girly, but still in a way where you were in a sorority.
5 Summer Hijab Trends That Won’t Stop White People From Thinking You’re Oppressed White people will always assume you have the one-dimensional personality of the terrorist wife character in a spy movie.
We Dare You to Name a Single Thing Quirkier Than These Patterned Masks Naming something more twee and charming than this mask? Good fucking luck.
8 Rockabilly Dresses That Will Make them Quake in Fear of Your Colossal Tits Looking for a new way to feature your enormous breasts?
4 Sneakers with Bows So People Don’t Think Your Feet Are Men Maybe they have some fungus between their toes, but they’re ladies.
4 Delicate White Blouses That Have Salsa On Them AGAIN? JESUS Four intricate, airy white blouses you will spill food on like a child.
4 Tight Pencil Skirts That Will Keep the Thousands of Tiny Spiders That Make Up Your Body in Place All hail the Spider Woman, may she reign in Spider Hell until the end of time!
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