Why I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others and Started Comparing Myself to Peppa Pig
So wholesome and enviable!
Me Time For Mom: The Charmin Bears Are Obsessed With Shit and Perverted
I’m sick and tired of hearing about their pervy little bear butts every time I turn on the TV.
Why I Decided to Quit Working For The Man And Start Freelancing For A Handful of Less Powerful Men
Gotta stay hungry! But for real, I’m so, so hungry.
The Passport Photo Guy Told Me Not To Smile And Now We’re Engaged
I knew I’d found my future husband.
I Lived It: Co-Star Told Me To Buy a One-Way Plane Ticket and Now I’m Stuck In Des Moines
“There is a silver lining, and it’s that the plane had corn chips.”
I Practice Intuitive Eating, and My Intuition Tells Me I Need 12 Servings of Hawaiian Rolls
Now I eat what I want, when I want.
I Got into School Solely on Merit and Also Being Willing to Pay a Shit Ton of Money
If you’re gonna pay hundreds of thousands of dollars, it should go toward your tuition, obviously.
Why The Jonas Brothers Inspired Me to Also Reunite with My Estranged Family Members
Now I feel inspired to let bygones be bygones and reunite with my estranged, horrible family.
I Lived It: I Found Out I’m Not Actually That Proficient In Microsoft Office
A series of regrettable mistakes have led me to discover the truth: I am not nearly as proficient in Office as I thought.
I Lived It: My Mom Suggested Using One of my Brothers as a Sperm Donor
Why would she think that is okay?
Why I’m Waiting To Have Sex Until Someone Asks Me To
And by the right person I mean literally the first person who asks me to.
Help! I Said I Hate My Thighs And Now Jameela Jamil Is Hunting Me
I’ve resigned myself to my fate: Jameela Jamil is pooling all of her resources into finding me and forcefully demanding that I love my body.
Eating Me Out Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Go slow to prevent injuries, like me not being attracted to you anymore.
I Lived It: My Consultant Friend Wanted to Split the Bill
I wonder if I have any real friends at all.