Why I’m Saving My Sephora Points for My Dowry I come with a whopping 3,245 Sephora points to use at both of our disposal.
I LIVED IT: I Recorded Myself Singing Just to Check Recording myself singing just to see if I can has officially ruined my life.
I LIVED IT: Someone Thought My Regular Clothes Were a Halloween Costume Are you like an old timey detective or something?”
Why I’m Preemptively Arranging 4 Funerals for Myself So My Friend Groups Don’t Mix If I didn’t, who knows what would happen!
I LIVED IT: I Bleached My Eyebrows So the Other Alt Kids Would Talk to Me Again I bought a box of Clairol and went to work.
I LIVED IT: I Fell for a Rat Queer You’re already marginalized, why add owning multiple rats to the mix?
My Boyfriend Didn’t Want to Take Me Apple Picking, So I Doxxed Him I believe that getting your boyfriend to take you apple picking is a basic human right.
As a Mom, I Hope and Pray That You Put Marijuana Edibles in My Kid’s Halloween Bag Please – make sure they are the good ones.
I’m The Bad Boy in This YA Love Triangle and I’ve Never Truly Cared About Anything…Until Now I’ve never really cared about anything…
How I Tore Apart My Family by Telling Everyone to Bring Coleslaw to the Party Just eight heaping bowls of cabbage drenched in dairy products spoiling on the dining room table.
I LIVED IT: I Didn’t Wish Someone Happy Birthday on Their Birthday but They Still Wished Me One on Mine The havoc it wreaked on my mental state was immeasurable.
I LIVED IT: I Turned on a Garbage Disposal Thinking It Was a Light Switch I still hear the echoes of that metallic grinding in my nightmares.
How I Establish Healthy Boundaries Using the Art of Mime Most friends and family members did not react very positively to my new self-care habit.
I LIVED IT: I Am Not a Barbie Girl in a Barbie World I’m a brunette woman in a tiny, one-bedroom apartment.
How I’m Decolonizing the Sidewalk by Pushing White People Into The Street And that’s just a little something that I like to call “doing the work.”
They Say Cities Should Be Built for People, Not Cars. But How Do I Tell That to My Husband, Lightning McQueen? Life is a highway, not a goddamn walkable plaza.
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