I Lived It: I Found Out My Friend Wasn’t Ugly In Middle School

Why I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others and Started Comparing Myself to Peppa Pig

So wholesome and enviable!

Me Time For Mom: The Charmin Bears Are Obsessed With Shit and Perverted

I’m sick and tired of hearing about their pervy little bear butts every time I turn on the TV.

Why I’m Waiting Until Marriage For Everything

I guess you could say I’m a romantic!

Why I Decided to Quit Working For The Man And Start Freelancing For A Handful of Less Powerful Men

Gotta stay hungry! But for real, I’m so, so hungry.

It Takes a Village to Eat My Ass

The road to getting one’s ass eaten is not a lonely one.

The Passport Photo Guy Told Me Not To Smile And Now We’re Engaged

I knew I’d found my future husband.

Why I Support Paid Maternity Leave Unless My Therapist Needs It

Does that feel fair? It does to me!

Hahaha But Seriously, Does Everyone Shave Their Vagina?

I’m just curious, lol.

I Lived It: Co-Star Told Me To Buy a One-Way Plane Ticket and Now I’m Stuck In Des Moines

“There is a silver lining, and it’s that the plane had corn chips.”

Hospital - Reductress

Instead Of Calling My Ex, I Made Him My Emergency Contact And Got Hit By A Car

This way, we all win and can heal together.

I Practice Intuitive Eating, and My Intuition Tells Me I Need 12 Servings of Hawaiian Rolls

Now I eat what I want, when I want.

I Got into School Solely on Merit and Also Being Willing to Pay a Shit Ton of Money

If you’re gonna pay hundreds of thousands of dollars, it should go toward your tuition, obviously.

Why The Jonas Brothers Inspired Me to Also Reunite with My Estranged Family Members

Now I feel inspired to let bygones be bygones and reunite with my estranged, horrible family.

I Lived It: I Found Out I’m Not Actually That Proficient In Microsoft Office

A series of regrettable mistakes have led me to discover the truth: I am not nearly as proficient in Office as I thought.

I Lived It: My Mom Suggested Using One of my Brothers as a Sperm Donor

Why would she think that is okay?

Why I’m Waiting To Have Sex Until Someone Asks Me To

And by the right person I mean literally the first person who asks me to.

Help! I Said I Hate My Thighs And Now Jameela Jamil Is Hunting Me

I’ve resigned myself to my fate: Jameela Jamil is pooling all of her resources into finding me and forcefully demanding that I love my body.

Eating Me Out Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Go slow to prevent injuries, like me not being attracted to you anymore.

I Lived It: My Consultant Friend Wanted to Split the Bill

I wonder if I have any real friends at all.