How I Maintain a Work/Life Balance By Logging Off Whenever My Cat Lays on My Laptop If your cat lays down on your laptop you have to HANG UP NOW!
Why There’s Nothing Wrong with Getting Botox Now That I’m Considering It And I mean like, wow, I really need this now.
I LIVED IT: I Asked the Person Cooking if They Need Any Help and They Said Yes How could things have gone so astray?
Why I Reject the Male Gaze Unless It’s a Cameraman Who Can Get Me on the Jumbotron Perhaps the most feminist thing of all.
I LIVED IT: My Boyfriend Refers to His Friends as His ‘Buddies’ To him, a friend is a person you have sex with, and a buddy is a friend you don’t have sex with.
I’m a Cool Bride! My Bachelorette Is Hot Wheels Themed I’ll be wearing a racing outfit and a little hat and going VROOM VROOM for an entire long weekend.
How I Learned to Sit Back, Relax, and Embrace the Little Pool of Cum He Jizzed Into My Bellybutton Well, whatever, it worked for me!
Help! I Don’t Want Kids But I Still Want to Eat My Own Placenta You know what I mean? You don’t? Hmmm. Okay.
I LIVED IT: The Toilet Water Splashed on My Vagina I guess the other lesson would be to get some wet wipes.
DUDE CORNER: I’ve Never Seen My Friends Be Sexist Because I Have A VR Headset on Most of the Time And that’s how you know I’m a good guy!
You’re Not Supposed to Have a Favorite Child, But Mine Is the Kid From ‘Jerry Maguire’ I don’t think I should have to apologize for feeling that way.
I Want the Best for John Boyega and That’s Why We’re Not Dating It’s literally the least I can do for him.
How I Conquered My Fear of Loneliness by Replacing it With a Fear of Mega-Tsunamis Immediately, I knew I had found a new phobia to occupy every moment of my waking life.
Why I Believe Science Unless It’s About How My Healing Crystals Don’t Work They can say hello to my obsidian and get out of here with that negative energy.
Why We Need to Normalize Whatever I’m Insecure About Today These are traits I am unwilling to change!
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