I Astral Projected to a Retail Job to Empathize With The Working Class A view of the waterfront really grounded me after an excruciating shift at the Gap.
I LIVED IT: I Accidentally Gave my Only Other Black Coworker the White People Smile I think it was a muscle spasm.
DUDE CORNER: It’s Always a Good Time to Bring Up the Uniquely Terrible Pain of Getting Hit in the Balls And I mean always.
Why I Decided to Have a Waterbirth at Six Flags Great Escape Lodge & Indoor Waterpark All of a sudden I blacked in holding my child in a private cabana.
A Team of Mice and Birds Help Me Get Dressed Every Morning, and They Fucking Suck at It If you’ve ever judged me for having a heinous outfit, now you know why!
I Got Pregnant to Avoid My Period. Here’s Why. I don’t even get PMS anymore! I’m just extremely uncomfortable all the time.
My Phone Battery Died After I Ignored Every Warning About It. Here’s Why I’m Suing Anyway. Does anybody know of a good lawyer?
I LIVED IT: The Poor Character in a TV Show Has a Bigger Apartment Than Me I simply could not believe what I was seeing.
Why It’s Reductive to Call Me the ‘Female Santa Claus’ Just Because I Climb Down My Neighbors’ Chimneys and Drink Their Milk I wear the red velour tracksuit because it’s comfy.
I LIVED IT: I Liked Their DM And They Wrote ‘So, How Are Things?’ No one should have to suffer through anything like this.
I Achieved the Perfect Bubble Butt and Now I’m Flying Around the Gym Like a Loose Balloon Sure, I may be floating around like untied balloon at a Party City, but my ass still looks amazing.
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