Why I Stopped Buying Vidalia Onions and Just Started Using My Unwashed Pits Does anybody want some leftover armpit?
I LIVED IT: My Hairstylist Called Another Stylist Over to ‘Look at Something’ No words can convey the horror I felt at that moment. Was I going to die?
Why I Stopped Blogging and Started Driving Around Town Screaming Out My Window Thank gosh I still have my indispensable First Amendment Right to freely shout at pedestrians and bystanders.
I Want to Honor Keeping Kink Out of Pride, but My Kink Is Bank-Sponsored Parade Floats Please, God, forgive me for my sin.
How I Reclaimed the Word ‘Cunt’ By Being One “I’m changing English linguistics singlehandedly, one cunty outburst at a time.”
How I Finally Finished My Doctoral Thesis While Waiting for My Partner to Put The Strap On Then again, I was just making the most out of our downtime.
Why We Should Tax the Rich Except for My Uncle Kevin Because I Think I’m in The Will I haven’t seen the will, but he doesn’t have children so I feel like my odds are pretty good.
I’m Not a Plant Mom – I’m a Plant Evil Stepmother Please. Spare me the pity party and take care of yourself.
HELP! My Boss Texted Me Right as I Got Devastatingly High Does anyone know how to turn off the Slack notifications going off in my head?
How I Finally Got My Crush to Notice Me by Loudly Doing Cat Cow Pose I even threw some moos and meows in there toward the end.
Things Aren’t ‘Back To Normal,’ I’m ‘Cosplaying My Pre-Pandemic Self’ Maybe that’s just a “me” thing, though.
If I Could Tell My 16-Year-Old Self Anything, It Would Be to Leave That Cursed Amulet Alone, It’s Not Worth It If only I could turn back time.
Why You Should Get the Vaccine, But Also the Period Stuff is Weird, But We Don’t Want to Fear Monger, But Also Marginalized Groups Have Historically Been Fucked by Western Medicine and We Don’t Want to Feel Like We CAN’T Talk About That, But You Should Get It …yeah.
How I Stopped Worrying About Constantly Being Productive And Started Worrying About What Happens When We Die I’ve never been less productive!
Actually My Vagina IS Ugly And I Like It That Way My shit looks like the dog aliens in Stranger Things.
Why We Need to Forgive Student Loan Debt and Also Me for My Peace Sign Phase College is a confusing time.
I Don’t Need Alcohol To Have Fun! I Need Something Much, Much More Powerful Alcohol just doesn’t do that for me, you know?
How I Maintain a Work/Life Balance By Logging Off Whenever My Cat Lays on My Laptop If your cat lays down on your laptop you have to HANG UP NOW!
Why There’s Nothing Wrong with Getting Botox Now That I’m Considering It And I mean like, wow, I really need this now.
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