My Landlord Asked for Proof of Employment and I Asked Them to Prove That They’re a Barb Like the Queen once said, “Go against Nicki it’s gon’ cost ya.”
I’m Tired of the Gay Penguins at the Zoo Performing Their Queerness for a Straight Audience Oh, and of course the only gay birds we get to see at the zoo are the ones that can’t fly.
How I Combatted My English Department’s Eurocentrism by Not Doing Any of the Reading Hundreds of pop quizzes may have said I failed, but my moral compass says otherwise.
I LIVED IT: I Didn’t Say ‘Bless You’ and Now I Have to Perform an Exorcism on My Friend Needless to say, it was a lot!
Here’s Why Liking Something I Don’t Like Makes You a Bad Person Please don’t be on the wrong side of history here.
Thanks Hollywood! My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me And Now I Agree That All Lesbian Movies Should Be Sad You are born, you experience misery, then you die. Especially when you are a lesbian.
Why I Stopped Saving to Buy a House and Moved Into an Abandoned RadioShack As long as I defer to the authority of the coyotes, I feel safe and comfortable here.
Why I Gave up Meditation in Favor of Self-Care That Costs Money Humming a mantra would have never given me the confidence that my stiletto acrylic nails do now.
It’s Not Illegal to Get an Abortion, It’s Just Impossible Because of Laws It’s not illegal to get an abortion! It’s just literally so impossible.
How I Cut Back on Weed by Using a Bong Instead It’s so cool that people finally can see I have my life together now!
I’ve Already Decided to Hate Every Single Photo You’re About to Take of Me, but Please Do It Anyway This is for my mental health.
Here’s How the Stick Figure Guy in the ‘Life is Good’ Logo Ruined My Trust in Men What’s he smiling about anyway? Misogyny? Seems about right.
Why You Should Never Judge a Person by What They Wear, Unless It’s an Old Navy 4th of July Tee You could argue it’s classist, but to that I say, they’re really ugly.
Why I Stopped Cyberbullying and Started Scrolling Through the Comments to See if Anyone Else Said What I Was Thinking It’s the least I could do.
I’m Dating a White Man but It’s Okay Because He Cried During ‘The Color Purple’ He only went on his phone like seven times!
I Am Not Defined by My Failures Despite the Trombonist Who Follows Me Around Making the Womp-Womp Sound Whenever I Fuck Up Where did he even come from?
Help! A White Person Corrected Me on Black History, and They Were Right I hope you know that, like your ancestors, you have ruined another Black life.
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