Woman Forgoes Sleep in Favor of Watching 300 Short Videos That Mean Nothing to Her

Womanspiration

Meal Prepping! This Woman Is Making Plans to Go Over to a Friend’s House for Dinner Every Day This Week

It’s a foolproof way to make sure she’s getting all of her necessary nutrients!

I Lived it: Thoughts

I LIVED IT: I Retold a Story From Childhood and Realized I Was a Bully

What the fuck? But this doesn’t align with my narrativized sense of self at all!

News

‘I Feel Like the Day Is Getting Away From Me,’ Says Woman Who Is Going to Sit Motionless for the Next Six Hours

“There it goes,” Liv said cryptically at 4:30 p.m. once the sun had begun to set.

Living

How to Have People Over Even Though That Means They’re Going to See All Your Stuff

Blindfolds.

Living

QUIZ: Did You Sleep Weird or Is It the First Semblance of Back Pain That Will Plague You for Life?

Can you touch your toes?

Dude Corner Thoughts

DUDE CORNER: Relax It’s Not Going to Be That Bad

It’s starting to get hard to comfort you, not that I’ve tried.

News

Woman Who Bought Herself Flowers on a Whim Now Suspicious That She Did It out of Guilt

“God, I am one conniving bitch.”

News

Woman Spends Week Comforting Men in Her Life About the Tragic Loss of Her Rights

“Dan really needed a hug today, I guess.”

News

‘Everything Happens for a Reason,’ Says Woman Who Has Never Actually Been Through Shit

What would she know?

News

Fibonacci Sequence! Day-Late Reply to Text Leads to Two-Day-Late Reply, Then Three-Day, and Onwards

Math is all around us!

Living

5 Cat Treats That Are Actually Human Meals That You Made for Yourself

Just make sure to wipe off the Caesar dressing befo––oh, he likes it? Okay, sure, go for it!

News

Sad! Woman Didn’t Realize the Worst Was Yet to Come

Aww! How naive!

News

Aww! White Lady Still Thinks This Is Not Who We Are as a Nation

Reporters calmly explained slavery, Jim Crow, poll taxes, grandfather clauses, Japanese internment, the Vietnam War, the Iraq War, and a few other things.

Dude Corner Thoughts

DUDE CORNER: Trump Doesn’t Really Mean What He Says, Unless I Agree With Him

It’s actually embarrassing that you didn’t understand he was joking, because he clearly was.

News

Boys Inspired to See That Someday They Can Grow Up to Be the Most Powerful Sexual Predator in America

Boys everywhere rejoiced by lighting off fireworks and becoming brazenly touchy with the people around them.

News

REPORT: Quality of Cups Going Down Exponentially as More Guests Arrive

“Does no one bring their own glass to a party anymore? Jesus, people, prepare!”

News

Aww! Pregnant Wife Inspires Man to Start Training for Marathon

Training is taking up the free time that could otherwise be spent doing literally anything to help his wife.

Entertainment

Woman Listening to New Album Imagines How Nice It’ll Be to Like These Songs in a Few Weeks

“Every song sounds foreign and new to my brain, and therefore I find it frightening.”

News

Woman Retires After Long, Fulfilling Life Spent Trying to Find a Job

“Nadine will certainly be missed. She was always posting on LinkedIn.”

Love and Sex

QUIZ: Is He Into You or Is He Just Texting Because You Hit His Car?

He keeps using formal language like “I wish to settle my claim.”

Thoughts

How I Finally Got In-Unit Laundry by Moving Into a Washing Machine

Does it suck that my entire apartment spins whenever I use it? Yes.

Living

‘I Have IBS,’ Says Woman Who Actually Just Had Four Drinkable Yogurts

“I have no clue what makes it act up!”

Entertainment

3 Gay Icons That Can’t Hold a Candle to Cynthia From Rugrats

“She’s fierce, she’s fashion, she’s servin’ up some sassin’.”

News

Woman Throws Duvet Cover in With Rest of Laundry Like Adding Shark to Fish Tank

“She has to know that the duvet cover is going to eat those clothes up in seconds.”

I Lived it: Thoughts

I LIVED IT: I Made Fun of Myself and My Friend Added to the Bit Instead of Correcting Me

What the hell?