Proving that no one’s too young to have it all (or at least half), 33-year-old Diya Khan is on her way to a coffee shop where she can afford to buy either a coffee or a pastry but not both. Never both.
You go, girl! Did someone say, “thirty and thriving”?
“Your thirties are all about settling into a life you love, which is exactly what I’m doing,” Diya told reporters while contemplating her options. “For example, I love that I could get a latte, but if I get a latte, I can’t get a croissant. Or I could get a croissant, but if I get a croissant – honey – I can’t afford a latte.”
Observers report seeing Diya engage in a game of “rock, paper, scissors” against herself to decide which option she would pursue.
“Financial literacy is so important these days, especially with the economy in shambles as it is,” she continued. “I like to make these kinds of smart decisions, because otherwise, I will absolutely overdraw my account. Not buying a pastry is kind of like contributing to a Roth IRA for me.”
Diya normally opts for a coffee when presented with this choice, but she’s second guessing herself today.
“Sure, a coffee makes sense, given the fact that I’ve come here to work, but if I get a pastry, I could feasibly stretch that as ‘lunch,’” she continued. “Therefore, if I get a pastry instead of coffee, I’m actually saving a ton of money, because that’s literally lunch. Meanwhile, if I get a coffee, I’ll have to reheat some leftovers or – even worse – buy a sandwich from the corner later, which will put me back eight, maybe even ten dollars.”
While Diya was doing this very difficult mental math, reporters confirm a classmate of hers from college just accepted a promotion at his finance job five miles away.
“Is it demoralizing that I’ve made it to this age and still cannot afford to get both a coffee and a pastry? Yes,” she continued. “But will I let that get me down? Only on most days!”
In her quest to decide whether to get a nice latte or a pastry, Diya decided to do something unprecedented: buy a pastry and also a coffee, but just a drip coffee, which barely even counts as an expense.
