Woman Forgoes Sleep in Favor of Watching 300 Short Videos That Mean Nothing to Her When asked if she planned to get more sleep tonight, Dina said, “No, why?”
Male Loneliness Epidemic? Everyone Too Busy Cleaning up After Dinner to Hang out With Man in Living Room “They’re all in the kitchen scrubbing dishes after the meal that they also planned, bought, and prepared, and I’m out here all by myself.”
Nice! Doctor Keeping You Awake for Surgery Because She Loved Your Vibe “Straightforward, charismatic, engaging…I freaking love this girl!”
Nice! Person on Reddit Who Had the Same Symptoms as You Followed up on the Thread and Said It Was Nothing Yay, they survived! So you’re going to survive, too!
Money-saving Hack! This Woman Took the Crumbs on Her Shirt and Reassembled Them Into a Second, Smaller Croissant “The glue definitely made everything taste worse. But it was so integral to the process.”
Aww! Baby Niece Coded You a Birthday Card She cannot yet read or write but is fluent in several programming languages, including C++, HTML, and JavaScript.
Cultural Anthropologist? This Woman Is in 87 Group Chats “The quantity of data she has collected on so many distinct cultural groups is astounding.”
Uh Oh! Coffee Not Making Woman Poop Anymore “If coffee can’t make me poop anymore, what will? Will I ever poop again? Oh god!”
Nice! This Woman Finally Finished Breaking in Her Doc Martens on Her Deathbed It took her a mere 69 years to break them in. According to experts, this is pretty fast.
Meal Prepping! This Woman Is Making Plans to Go Over to a Friend’s House for Dinner Every Day This Week It’s a foolproof way to make sure she’s getting all of her necessary nutrients!
Magnanimous Queen! Woman Already in Bed Decides It’s Probably Best to Coexist With Bug on the Ceiling “Just because the bug has entered my room doesn’t mean that it deserves to die.”
Woman Who Forgot Her Rings Today Won’t Let That Stop Her From Playing With Them Rings are the most socially acceptable form of “little gizmo” that you can play with in an adult setting without drawing attention to yourself.
Hydration Queen! This Woman Almost Drowned Say bye-bye to your Stanley and hello to accidentally trying to breathe while underwater!
Cool! 20-Year-Old Makes Conscious Decision to Get Addicted to Smoking “I was never pressured into smoking in my teen years, but luckily, it’s not too late to start!”
Nice! This Woman Breaks a Promise She Made to Herself Every 15 Seconds “I said I’d eat breakfast and then didn’t do that, so kind of an immediate ‘L.'”
Traditional Dating? This Woman Drove Her Chevy to the Levee to Find the Good Old Boys Drinking Whiskey and Rye “I want to have real conversations, you know? Like: Did you write the book of love? And do you have faith in God above, if the Bible tells you so?”
Wow! Woman Successfully Used Podcasts to Stop Having an Inner Monologue Go girl! Achieve that minimal brain activity!