How To Cut Your Bangs So Everyone Asks, ‘Do You Cut Your Own Bangs?’

If there’s one type of forehead hair that never goes out of style, it’s bangs! Since bangs are scientifically proven to grow faster than all other hair, you’ll have to trim them yourself between expensive professional haircuts. Sure, most salons offer bang trims for little to no cost, but why not take a crack at it yourself? Here are the best self-bang trim techniques that will have people saying, “So, um, you cut your own bangs? That’s cool.”


Trim without texturizing.

Everyone knows the number-one key to normal-looking fringe is texturizing the ends. But if you want to stand out from the competent, money-paying crowd, simply slice your bangs straight across using dull office scissors, because you refuse to wait three hours until an appointment with a real, trained hairstylist opens up! The only thing blunter than your bangs will be your mom when she says, “Honey, there’s a reason people go to beauty school.” Nailed it!


Cut at your work desk with no mirror.

Remember in high school how the popular girls would ask you, “Did you get dressed in the dark?” Well, to earn that same fun attention as an adult, simply start chopping away in the privacy of your own cubicle without looking at what you’re doing! You’re stressed out, and you need those damn things out of your eyes now! If you trim them shoddily enough, your boss may even suggest you should go home early and get some rest. Now that’s what we call “working it”!



Use pinking shears

Maybe you just went through a breakup and you’re going through a delusional burst of confidence and ownership over your “look.” In that case, you’re gonna want to reach for zigzagged fabric shears that will give your bangs a uniquely cartoonish look that’s sure to turn heads. There’s no way a paid stylist would do that to a fellow human being! Those who recognize the saw-toothed work of pinking shears will be compelled to comment out of car-accident-like curiosity about “what happened”, but at least they aren’t asking about “what happened” with Gavin. So crafty!


Hack them off at the root

The bangs lifestyle isn’t for everyone. Some people don’t have the right face shape, some suffer from chronic brow perspiration, and others are just fucking sick of having to trim them every fucking week. When you’ve finally gotten tired of having bangs, you may think the only solution is growing them out. Wrong! You can also lop them clean off! Now you’ve got some spiky teeth coming out of your hairline that will definitely get people asking “Hey, are you…are you doing okay?” So cute!


Just because you’ve never watched a single Youtube video on properly cutting your own bangs doesn’t mean you can’t give it the old college try. Hack away, you beautiful hack beautician!