How to Get the Sensual Glow of a Disinterested Woman in a Renaissance Painting

Now that winter is coming to a close, it’s time to revive your dull skin and achieve a look that is solemn, sexy, and reminiscent of a bored woman in repose from the 1600s. Here’s how to imbue your skin with the sensual glow of a disinterested woman in a Renaissance:


Pluck your hairline to make your forehead appear larger.

During the times of Petarch and Da Vinci, a woman with a big forehead was a beautiful sight because it meant she was noble. If you are not blessed with a larger forehead, go ahead and pluck your hairline hair by hair, just like Simonetta Vespucci would. Those of you who already possess a washboard fivehead above your eyebrows, fret not! A big ass forehead is not to be mocked, but celebrated. More space to fill the canvas!


Sob over your lack of freedom.

Women in the 14th century didn’t have Rare Beauty blush or Saie Concealer to give them rosy cheeks and an even complexion. How did they do it? Sobbing. As you can imagine, all that women were encouraged to do in the Renaissance period was get married and give birth to boys. Sounds like a boring and saddening existence to me, but the effects were well worth it! So indulge in a good cry and bring some redness to your face for a beautiful post cry glow.


Plot how to exact revenge on a former lover.

Back in the day, women would put belladonna, a poisonous nightshade, in their eyes to add depth. However, this is extremely hazardous so I can’t in good faith recommend this method. Instead, to the tune of SZA’s Kill Bill, form a plot to get revenge on an ex-love. There is a certain type of beauty that only a woman with a vengeance contains. The rush of endorphins from your vile plot will bring a darkness to your eyes that no eyeshadow can replicate.


You don’t need to be a noble woman to look like one in 2023. Don’t forget to pair this look with a dull expression and a disinterested frown. You’ll look like you should be sitting for the best portrait artist in all of Verona for a meager 10 hours in no time!