5 Ways to Make Him Climax Without Touching His Gross Dong

A lot of women don’t realize just how much power they have in the bedroom because they’re too busy touching their man’s icky-looking penis. They just need a little help unleashing their inner sex goddess and end this ordeal as quickly as possible without having to touch that dong. Read on for killer ways to give your man amazing orgasms—without even having to touch that nasty D!


Talk dirty.

Dirty talk is a great way to get your guy hot without having to put your hands on his thing. Try describing what you’re going to do to his body, or what you want him to do to yours. The more descriptive, the better, because it increases the likelihood that he’ll blow his load before you actually have to do any of the things you said you would.


Slip him boner pills.

Secretly administering your guy boner-making pills like Viagra is another great way to push him over the edge super fast without you having to do any of the gross stuff, like touching or looking at his sticky wang. Sneak the drugs into his evening meal and say goodbye to making up excuses to look elsewhere when he unzips his pants. “Oooh, look at the moon!”


Rub his genitals with a sponge on a stick.

This one takes a little prep work, but it’s totally worth it, because it means you get to keep several feet between you and his sperm pole. Even if your fella has initial reservations about your new technique, he’ll be singing a different tune when he feels that silky soft, carefully-puppeteered sponge stick bringing him to orgasm.



Train him to have an orgasm when he hears a bell ring, like Pavlov’s dog, but with his dick.

Using the famed behavioral science experiment as a template, train your guy to orgasm every time he hears a bell ring. This will definitely take some time and legwork, as it means you’ll have to do the touch his penis a few times before he’s fully trained, but it will save you tons of time and penis-touching in the long run.


Pay somebody else to give him orgasms.

This one might sound a little out there, but paying somebody else to have sex with your man is a surefire way to make him climax, while also ensuring you don’t have to be anywhere near his hairy rod. Just call it a threesome and he’ll be super into it! Sex really scares us.


There you have it—a few simple tricks to give your guy ah-mazing orgasms without having to make eye contact with his jizz machine. Go forth and embrace the sexual goddess within while not doing any of the icky stuff!