In a story coming out of Brooklyn, NY 28-year-old Jamie Morey and her boyfriend, 27-year-old Connor Yates, are on their biweekly “date night” –– which is just them having an argument in public instead of at home.
“After being in a relationship for five years, we’ve learned that regular date nights are essential in order to keep the spark alive,” Jamie told reporters.
Jamie clarified that by “that spark” she meant “screaming at each other in a public park instead of on their couch.”
Connor agreed, saying, “The advice I always give to new couples is ‘Never stop dating each other.’ If you’re not careful, you’ll spend all your nights having arguments quietly in the privacy of your bedroom instead of loudly in the middle of the Panera by your apartment.”
The couple said that just getting outside and verbally flaying each other a few times a month is enough to keep their relationship feeling fresh and on the brink of destruction.
“Because that’s the fun part about the beginning of a relationship, isn’t it?” Jamie asked reporters, who felt like a resounding “no” wasn’t quite the answer she was looking for. “Loudly questioning your partner’s loyalty is way more exciting when you do it in front of an audience of strangers instead of just the cat you own together.”
Connor added that it doesn’t matter what the activity is, as long as they’re in a high-traffic area, accusing the other of infidelity or not doing the dishes.
“At a restaurant, in a park, during intermission of a Broadway show, after intermission of a Broadway show, a successful date night can be anywhere!” he explained. “The only thing that matters is that we’re together and we’re being really mean to each other with at least a dozen strangers within earshot.”
At press time, reporters questioned whether or not this behavior was healthy, causing the couple to become defensive.
“What, now it’s ‘unhealthy’ to date your girlfriend?” Connor said, getting the attention of several passers-by. “Get a load of this guy!”
Jamie then proceeded to call reporters “manipulative bitches,” which caused several of the passersby to actually stop and stare.
Reporters ultimately admitted that this whole ordeal was kind of thrilling and they could see why the couple had made it a regular part of their relationship.
