Author Archives for McKayley Gourley

Boring! Woman Damaging Health Not Through Drugs or Alcohol but Just by Sitting Too Much

DUDE CORNER: Hey, Have You Seen This Thing I Haven’t Started Looking for Yet?

Aw! Mom Just Calling to Check in Because She Woke up in the Middle of the Night and Thought You Were Dead

‘I Don’t Care, You Pick,’ Says Friend Engaging in Psychological Warfare

Woman Just Trying to Make Enough Friends So She Can Zone Out During Conversations

Woman Eyes Boyfriend Suspiciously After Realizing That All Her Exes Ugly

‘Buy Any Good Bucket Hats Lately?’ Asks Dad in Lazy Attempt to Steer Conversation Toward Recently-Purchased Bucket Hat

Making Plans for Fourth of July Much Easier Once Woman Realized She Could Do Drugs

Woman Emerges From Thrifting Haze to Discover She Purchased a 19th Century Bathing Dress

Aw! Man Refers to Platonic Soulmate as ‘a Buddy of Mine’

Wow! This Woman’s Happy Place Is Her Phone

Maternal? Woman Instinctually Tends to Needs of Bonfire

Mental Health Walk Counteracted by Listening to Genre of Music Called ‘Weep Rock’

Entire Trajectory of Woman’s Life Changed by Singular Good Bowel Movement

Goals! Woman’s Shoes Not Appropriate for Any Occasion

FDA Now Requires All Food Meet Certain Degree of Feces Contamination

J.K. Rowling Announces She’s the Only Woman

Woman Can’t Sleep Unless Her Bedroom Feels and Sounds Like F4 Tornado

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