Lots of women in their 30s have a plethora of advice they wish they could give their younger selves and — surprise, surprise — a lot of the lessons learned are about which men will go in and out of their personal, and even professional lives. That’s why we’ve put together this list of every guy you’ll date in your 20s who will ultimately end up adding you on LinkedIn in your 30s!
That One Guy You Matched With on Hinge
You had a couple of dates and felt that the relationship wasn’t really going anywhere, but you were amicable when you parted ways romantically. However, while you spent the rest of your 20s in a mutual following with all of his posts muted indefinitely, your 30s are when he will inevitably remember you after he sees a selfie you posted and add you on LinkedIn for some unknown reason, finally revealing to you what he looks like in a heavily edited corporate headshot that may or may not be AI-generated.
The Guy You Met Through a Friend of a Friend
You dated this man on-and-off for about two years before you called it quits. It was one of the most emotionally taxing relationships/situationships you’ve ever been in, and you learned a lot from the whole ordeal — mainly which men to stay away from for your own sanity and wellbeing. However, he apparently didn’t seem to learn anything from your tumultuous relationship, and you discovered this as soon as you got a LinkedIn message from him asking to pretend to be one of his references for a job interview he has coming up. Awesome!
The Guy You Went to School With
You both were studying the same major and met while attending the same class. While you were together you mainly just hooked up and all your conversations revolved around what you were both currently studying. However, now in your 30s, you’ve both gone down slightly different career paths, which means that he’s going to send you a LinkedIn message to ask if you’d like to meet for coffee sometime, not so much as a date, but as a networking opportunity that you really don’t want to partake in.
The Guy Who Mansplained Your Career to You on Your First Date
Even though you left your first meeting with the distinct feeling that he thought your job was boring, pathetic, and, frankly, stupid, in your 30s he will be much more kind and understanding. Despite him claiming to know much more than you about every single detail of your job in the past, he’ll now compliment your work ethic and try to convince you to opt into his business which is essentially just an MLM for selling “workout endurance supplements.” Yay!
There you have it — every man you’ll date in your 20s who will bestow onto you a sinking feeling of dread when you open your LinkedIn notifications in your 30s! And while we are unable to give you advice on how exactly to answer these inbox messages and friend requests because it is virtually impossible, we wish you good luck! You’re going to need it!