The Five Married Men You’ll Date in Your 20s

We all know dating married men in your 20s can be an emotional whirlwind. They have wives and families, and you’re in your 20s – but we all end up dating the same ones, over and over again! While the thrill and emotional exhaustion of dating married men in your 20s doesn’t last forever, there are life lessons that all of us girls can learn from our mistakes – and their divorce proceedings. Here are the five married men we ALL date in our 20s:


1. Your Boss, Dan

Dan, otherwise known as your boss and mentor, works on 45th street, has a wife Alice, two grown children, and totally dates you in your 20s! Whether it’s the way he gets you an undeserved raise, his routine deletion of your texts, or the way he lovingly calls you “Kiddo,” you’re definitely dating Dan in your 20s, and he’s definitely married!


2. William The Sporty Alcoholic

Of all the married men you’ll date in your 20s, William the sporty alcoholic is definitely the homerun! Or is he more of a slam dunk?! Either way, he’s a real catch! William is without a doubt married to Erica, never wants to leave the sports bar, and is definitely gonna date you in your 20s!


3. Louis The Busy Doorman

Louis the doorman is the guy always working hard at the Sheridan hotel downtown, he keeps busy by working hard, being sort of happily married to Shelly, and dating you in your 20s! Louis is not only great at opening doors – but he’s also great at opening your legs. Here’s to your 20s!



4. Eddie The Anxious Artist

Eddie the anxious artist hasn’t been able to produce new work in months because of the lunar cycles, but he’s still totally a creative (which you’ve always wished you could be)! Eddie’s fascinating in that he talks lots about concepts and mediums, was briefly famous in 1992, is super married to Alithea, and you’re totally dating him between ages 24 and 25!


5. Mark The Green Party Economist

Mark the green party economist is always talking about graphs and asking you hard questions like, “How do we eliminate the two party system, babe?” while he fidgets with his wedding band. He’s fun because he’s a thinker, so then you’re thinking more too! Most importantly, he’s been married to Bethany for five years, and he’s dating you while you’re in your 20s!


These are the five married man every girl dates in her twenties, so start crossing ’em off your list before your 20s are gone!