I’ve Finally Met The Man I’m Going to Divorce Someday

People always say when you find the one, you’ll know. I always thought that was some Hollywood narrative created by male producers to sell movie tickets. I never thought love at first sight happened in real life, but I was wrong. I finally met someone and I just know he’s the man I’m going to marry, then eventually divorce someday in a heartbreaking but amicable split.


Growing up, I didn’t get to see many examples of loving relationships, especially because most of my friends’ parents were divorced by high school, so I thought, maybe marriage and an inevitable divorce isn’t for me. That all changed when I met Jackson. Since the moment I met him, I knew someday he’d get down on one knee, pop the question and we’d live happily ever after before going through a messy divorce that depletes me both emotionally and financially. He really has no idea what he’s in for and I find that kind of beautiful.


As we all know, marriage isn’t a walk in the park. It takes two dedicated people who love each other to commit to a lifelong relationship, and I know Jackson is the kind of man who can handle it. Until we have a couple of kids and begin to resent each other, shouting in loud fights for the better part of a year that result in our children crying and me screaming, “I’m sleeping in a hotel tonight!”


Ah, what a happy marriage, then devastating separation we’re in for.



I never thought I was the type to settle down and raise a family. I imagined being off adventuring until the day I die. And that’s still the plan! Little does Jackson know, but I plan on spending the last ten years of my life hooking up with hot beach men in Miami. He can babysit the grandkids while I get fucked by three surfers, because to me, that’s what love and commitment and separation are all about.


I know there are women reading this who think they’re not the ‘marrying’ type. Let me tell you, you are! It just takes the right guy to have you imagining a lifetime with him. And by lifetime, I mean a year, maybe two years tops? Depends if the kids slow things down a bit.