‘We Can Still Win This Thing,’ Says Man As Wife Files Divorce Papers

After trying to make their troubled marriage work for over a year, Debra Simons is filing for divorce from her husband Herb, in spite of his firm position that “We can still win this thing.”


Though Debra moved out months ago and has the support of her friends and family, Herb remains unconvinced of their imminent divorce.


“I’m taking this all the way to the finish line,” Herb explained as Debra pushed divorce papers across the table. “I don’t care that Deb doesn’t consider me her husband. That’s just what the media wants you to believe.”


When pressed further on which media he was referring to, Herb referenced such outlets as Debra’s blog, emails from Debra saying, “I want a divorce,” and the New York State Marriage Bureau.


“They’re both really great people,” family friend Connie Peters says. “But ultimately I support Debra. I really liked Herb too, but he really needs to back the fuck off.”


“This isn’t just about love,” Herb added. “It’s about a revolution.”



Herb was always loved for his boisterous personality and strong opinions, but some friends were surprised by his decision to marry Debra in the first place.


“For 20 years all he talked about was how much he hated marriage. And he still says he despises the institution,” Peters says, “Yet he still wants to be married to Deb? I just don’t understand his motives.”


Friends of both Debra and Herb are begging for him to let go.


“At the end of the day, Herb isn’t a bad guy,” Debra says. “He deserves a shot at love. I just know in my heart that we shouldn’t be married anymore.”


“That’s because the marriage game is rigged,” Herb muttered under his breath, as his attorney urged him to sign the papers.


“The best thing Herb can do is bow out of the marriage gracefully,” says Herb’s best friend, Jack. “I hope he finds the courage to do that.”


“I don’t know,” Herb shrugs as Debra drives away. “I think we’ve still got a shot.”