News ARCHIVES

Color of Pee Slightly Concerning but Also Fascinating

‘I’m Known for My Sense of Humor,’ Says Friend Known for Puking in Cabs

Woman’s Unpopular Opinion Actually Extremely Heinous

REPORT: Remote Work Leads to Drop in Gentle Little Kisses When You Do a Good Job

‘I Just Want Someone to Fight for Me,’ Says Woman Unwilling to Change in Any Way

Smithsonian Zoo Plans Prom in Hopes That Giant Pandas Enter Pact to Lose Virginity

Police Remind Community That ‘Pride’ Wouldn’t Even Exist Without Them

Woman Giving Up on Creative Dream After Three Months Thinks She Will Make It Through Law School

‘I Won’t Bother You Anymore,’ Says Man Who Plans to Message You Every Time You Post Something

Every Part of Woman’s Body in Pain from Workout Except the One Muscle She’s Trying to Exercise

‘Why is My TikTok For You Page All Lesbians?’ Asks Woman Who is About to Realize Why

Woman Who Doesn’t Floss Considering Spending $90 on Teeth-Whitening System

‘I Actually Can’t Whistle,’ Says Woman Who Also Can’t Do So Many More Important Things

Energy Healer Unable to Manifest a Coherent Website

Man Realizes Personal Demons Actually Consequences of His Actions

Huge Bitch? My Niece Put ‘Pon de Replay’ on Her Throwback Playlist

Writer Wasting Creative Energy on Drafting Friends’ Dating Texts

Boring Straight Guy Seen in Whole New Light Upon Discovery of Nipple Piercings

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