‘I’d Be Lost Without You, Babe,’ Posts Woman Who Would Actually Be Completely Fine

“My darling snugglebugface, you are my better half and I don’t know what I would do without you, babe,” wrote Laura Kent in the caption of a recent Instagram slideshow celebrating her relationship with her partner of three years, even though Laura is a competent adult who would be totally fine if they broke up.


“This total babe of a man makes me stronger, happier, and crazier than I ever thought possible,” continued Laura, an accomplished junior partner at a mid-size law firm who knows how to change a tire and is in regular contact with her warm and supportive family.


Experts agree that a well-adjusted, confident person like Laura would have little to no trouble re-acclimating to the single life.


“Someone like Laura, who maintained her friendships even after getting into a relationship, should have no problem socializing as a single gal,” they said, adding, “she’d feel weird about it for a week, tops.”


Laura continued to praise her partner for making her life “richer and fuller” than ever, writing, “every day I wake up lucky to love you and learn from you,” despite the fact that Laura is objectively smarter and cooler than her partner, and hasn’t learned a thing from the relationship. Laura not only thinks of most of their couple activities, but she also pays for all of them.


When reached for comment, Laura explained, “being in a relationship means everything to me. It’s just the comfort of having someone to come with you on little errands and big adventures. If I had to move through the world alone…yeah, I could do it, come to think of it, there would be upsides to that.”



Though aware of Laura’s general having-it-together-ness, her friends flooded the comments on her post with messages like never seen you happier!” And “it takes two to thrive!” And “2gether 5ever,” as if Laura weren’t the type to absolutely flourish on her own.


“God only knows what I’d be without you,” concluded the post, referencing the classic Beach Boys song that absolutely didn’t apply in this situation. Moments after posting the message, Laura started cooking a satisfying meal for herself and later worked on a fulfilling creative project because she’s great, really.


At press time, Laura’s partner was continuing to add a little but not a lot to her life.