Scientists Say Endorphins From Sitting Down Also Pretty Incredible

In a new report from Harvard University that’s taking the science world by storm, researchers have found that while the endorphins you get from exercising are great, the endorphins you get from sitting down are pretty amazing, too.


Looks like everything anyone’s ever said about exercising was wrong all along!


According to the head researcher at Harvard (whole university, not a specific department), the results of the study were unexpected, but they also kinda made sense.


“We ran various experiments with people exercising and sitting down, and the results were both pretty similar,” Dr. Emilia Romano said. “One of the most interesting cases we had was when we made our test subjects work out for an hour and then had them sit down right afterwards. The endorphins when they were running were great, but when they sat down, the endorphins were off the charts!”


When asked about the results of the study, people outside of the science field didn’t seem to be that surprised. 


“Yeah I honestly get that,” barista Amber Johnson said. “When I work out I feel really good, but when I do nothing all day except eat, smoke weed, and watch TV, I feel pretty damn good, too.”


Scientists are also researching other ways to get the body to release more endorphins that don’t include exercising. Some of the activities they’ve found are looking at your phone, playing video games, and watching reality TV.



“This is great news because I hate working out, but I love sitting down,” an accountant named Georgia Thomas said. “I guess now I can throw out all that workout equipment for good!”


However, the scientists at the head of the study urge the public not to give up exercising completely. 


“According to our research,” Dr. Romano said, “sitting down doesn’t feel nearly as good when you’re supposed to be doing it. The biggest release of the chemicals we saw is when people stopped exercising half way through their sets to sit down, and then ultimately gave up on the workout altogether.”


“You can also release even more endorphins by just lying down,” the doctor added. “Just another helpful tip!”