‘I Just Want Someone to Fight for Me,’ Says Woman Unwilling to Change in Any Way

Self-reflection was nowhere to be found as 23-year-old Lavelle O’Leary told friends she just “wants someone to fight” for her, despite being very rigid in her own largely unhealthy relationship behaviors.


“I just want someone who will fight like hell for me, you know?” said Lavelle, who fired her therapist for being a “bitch”. “If you aren’t willing to literally fistfight someone for me, then you simply don’t deserve me.”


In the span of three weeks of kind of dating, Lavelle had sent several paragraph-long texts while her significant other was sitting in a movie theater, or at a family christening.


“It just sucks when someone you thought was amazing isn’t even capable of doing the bare minimum,” Lavelle lamented. “At least show up with flowers afterward or something.”


Those who have dated Lavelle are confused by her unusually high expectations.


“I thought Lavelle was cool, but it seems like she has overly romanticized what a relationship is supposed to look like,” one ex explained. “She just kept asking why I haven’t shown up on a horse with a dozen roses to apologize to her. Like, I work for Doordash. This just doesn’t seem realistic.”


Lavelle, who has been in seven consecutive almost-relationships and one very toxic relationship, has yet to reflect on her behaviors or find any opportunities for growth.



“I just want someone who will fight for me, regardless of how hard it gets,” Lavelle claimed, though she has never had any experience making a compromise herself in a relationship. “As they say, if you can’t accept me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best. I learned that from Instagram.”


While they’re familiar with the phrase, Lavelle’s friends are concerned that she may be taking the idea a bit too far.


“We all need to have some self-respect and leave when we’re dating a jerk, but Lavelle can’t keep thinking that someone is gonna constantly prove their love so she never has to face her own fear of loss and uncertainty,” her friend Greta said. “Maybe she should try journaling or something?”


At press time, Lavelle had still not tried any other behaviors that may lead to self-reflection or improving one’s self.