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REPORT: You’re Never Learning French
Uh Oh! Blond Boyfriend Wants to Grow a Beard
Man At Pool Acting Like He’s Not Jacked
All Shakespeare Productions Projected to Be Queer Reimaginings by 2030
Woman Cobbles Together Sad Little Meal From Starbucks Snack Case
Boyfriend’s Ugly Shoes Taking Toll on Relationship
Insane Bitch Actually Got Her Hair Wet At This Pool Party
New Dating App Designed Exclusively For People Who Hate Adventures
Freshly Locked-Down Boyfriend Has No Idea He’s Never Coming in Emma’s Mouth Again
Cool Skater Girl Momentarily Mistaken for Loser Skater Boy
‘Slight Change of Plans!’ Says Friend About To Ruin Night
Woman Who Rejects All Social Invitations Feeling Excluded
Dad Just Wants To Know If You Had To Pay For The Holes In Your Jeans
Woman Who Completed Annual Jog Expected to Make Full Recovery
Co-Star Really Out For Blood Today
Sanctions Imposed on Shitty Cat
BREAKING: Change The Subject, You’ve Been Talking About Yourself For Too Long
Awesome! Karen’s Also Going to Hop In This Photo
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