Woman Worried No One Noticed Her Irish Goodbye

When Shelby Patterson quietly left through the door on the back porch of a party last weekend, she was worried that nobody had noticed her swift Irish goodbye.


“No one even noticed the thing I didn’t want them to notice,” says Patterson. “How fucked up is that? I thought they were my friends.”


Invented in Ireland around 650 A.D., the Irish goodbye is a classic party escape maneuver across the world wherein the celebrant departs without telling anyone.



“It’s kind of my thing,” Patterson continues. “So hopefully at some point later, someone was like, ‘Where’s Shelby?’ and then someone else was like, ‘Damn, she must’ve done another one of her Irish Goodbyes. She is so slick.’ But so far, it looks like it was a total bust.”


During her four-minute walk toward the subway, Patterson reportedly checked her phone a total of 17 times. “I hoped that someone would text me, ‘Long bathroom line or something?’ or a very casual, ‘U alive in there?’ But no. I’m not even sure that anyone wondered about me at all.”


Party host Henry Klingerman claimed that while it’s typical for Shelby to leave unannounced, he did not realize she departed early on this particular occasion. “Shelby left? I guess we were all just having too good of a time to notice. We actually headed to a different bar at some point so if anything I would have assumed she stayed there.”


Yet, Patterson remains hopeful for a future full of leaving events without saying goodbye: “Next time, I’ll just be a little more obvious when I secretly exit.”