This Woman Started Measuring Time in Edible Duration

With growing numbers of people out of work or working from home, the rigid timeline of the daily grind is becoming less and less relevant. At the center of this evolving system is Tulsa, OK resident Henrietta Shaw, who is now measuring time in THC-infused edible duration.


“It all started naturally,” explains Henrietta. “One day I was just trying to decide when I should Zoom with my dad and I thought, I’ll do it in one edible.”


“From there it just kind of snowballed,” Henrietta adds. “And before I knew it, I had a whole new perspective on how my days are broken up.”


This newly devised time measurement tool has had a far-reaching epistemological impact on Henrietta.


“I used to think that 6 a.m. was early, that 2 p.m. wasn’t dinner time, or that 11 p.m. was the wrong hour to text my ex,” says Henrietta. “But now I see that’s all an arbitrary construct. Unlike so-called ‘clock’ time, edible duration is actually real.”



With her novel framework, Henrietta has found a schedule that works for her by determining that food is best at halfway through an edible, cleaning at one-quarter the way through, and sleep at nine-tenths of an edible.


“I only wish I had discovered this sooner,” says Henrietta, popping a gummy. “These lower doses have their own timeline. I’m gonna go look out the window till half-past this Ganja Bear.”


“Of course, as my tolerance increases during this period, the time frames will need to adapt concurrently,” Henrietta adds. “God, this is fascinating. Someone should write about this.”


We are, Henrietta! But maybe we shouldn’t have done this phone interview at the three-quarter point.


“Okay, I need to go water my plants,” says Henrietta. “Or did I water them last edible? I think this new way of telling time is doing something weird to my brain.”