News ARCHIVES

‘It’s Just Nice To Have A Break From The News,’ Says Woman Whose Hand Is Trapped In The Garbage Disposal

Penguins Upset at The Lack of Work by Black Artists in These Museums They Keep Getting Taken To

Hacked Woman - Reductress

Zoom Trivia Party Just Doesn’t Hit Like It Used To

‘If They Just Arrested Them, This Would All Stop,’ Says Woman About Not Who You’d Think

Undertit Sweat Officially Outpaces Armpits

Woman Who Never Blinked at Hate Crimes on Mosques and Synagogues Now Deeply Offended About a Target

‘I’m Really Getting Into Home Improvement,’ Says Woman After Hanging Up One Mirror

Researchers Complete Mapping Sequence of Things Men Think Are More Painful Than Childbirth

‘I Think Quarantine Will Change Fuckboy Culture,’ Says Stupid Idiot

‘I’m Fine,’ Says Shivering Boyfriend Watching 1993 Superbowl in Swedish

Talking Shit About Sabrina Allowed to Resume in Groups of 10 or Less

Aw! This High School Couldn’t Hold a Graduation Ceremony, So They Sent Their Seniors a Spotify Link to Green Day’s ‘Time Of Your Life’

CSA Box Contents Starting to Get A Little Wild

Friend Still Bragging That Gyno Said She Had a ‘Strong Cervix’

Mom Has Stopped Saying ‘I Miss You’ Since Figuring Out How to Update Candy Crush

Entire Stimulus Check Spent On Beans

Uh Oh: Bug On Ceiling Disappeared

‘What Do You Have To Lose?’ Says Friend Who Hasn’t Considered All the Things You Could Lose

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