Undertit Sweat Officially Outpaces Armpits  

In a developing story out of Philadelphia, 24-year-old Jenna Pastiche’s undertit sweat has officially outpaced her armpit sweat.


“It’s really shocking for this to have happened so early in the warm season,” said Jenna. “But it’s undeniable. I’ve been having to dab my boob crease every 15 minutes.”


Jenna attributes the shift to a lack of consistent office air conditioning – and an avoidance of bras.


“I haven’t been shaving my underarms in quarantine, and they’re really hairy. That’s made them even sweatier than normal,” she said. “But my titties? That’s a next-level sweat issue.”


“Let’s just say I’ve been going through lots of shirts, and it’s not because of pit stains,” Jenna added.



Logan Wheeler, Jenna’s boyfriend and quarantine buddy, has noticed the sudden change.


“Don’t get me wrong, I love Jenna exactly the way she is, damp armpits and all,” said Logan. “The underboob sweat, though, that’s new. It’s like two wading pools down there.”


“She has really great tits, though, so it’s no biggie really,” he added, lovingly.


But Jenna is not so accepting of her bosom’s moistness.


“People expect armpits to sweat, so that’s not really an issue for me,” she said. “But going out in public with a puddle under each sweater puppy is a little embarrassing.”


“Although it is giving me an excuse to wear low cut shirts more often, which is nice,” Jenna added. “I don’t know if Logan mentioned, but I have really great tits.”