Let’s face it—the average man only uses his testicles for storing semen. Laaaame! Why waste all that perfectly good surface area when you could jazz it up with a little Pinterest magic? Add some function to your man’s gonads with these fun and useful chalkboard paint ideas.
A Pocket Calendar
If your guy tends to forget important dates (ahem!), this ball hack is for you! Dip his scrotum into a can of chalkboard paint. Once it’s dry, use chalk to draw a calendar that can be easily changed week-to-week or month-to-month—depending on how loose and spacious his ball skin is. If he’s an especially busy boy, you may want to make this just a one-day planner. He’ll never forget your anniversary now!
Testicular Table Place Cards
Having a dinner party? Have a few male friends paint their nutsacks with—you guessed it—chalkboard paint! Then write your guests’ names on their love spuds and assign seating by draping them elegantly over the backs of the chairs. It might be cute if they all wear plaid flannel shirts. Rustic!
A Cooking Conversion Chart
Ever find yourself cooking with your man and forgetting how many cups are in a pint? It happens! Keep that info handy and draw a measurement conversion chart between his legs. Use the front of his lil’ crabapples to list dry ingredients and the back for wet ingredients. Easy!
Make game night fun again! Toss out that boring whiteboard and play games like Pictionary and tic-tac-toe on his hairy sack. You can also use his chalkboard balls to keep score during a rousing game of gin rummy or Scrabble! Thanks, hon!
Are your kids, nieces, or nephews about nut-height? Start tracking their growth on your man’s balls. You can chart their progress over the next few months and they’ll develop a closer bond with your guy!
No matter what you do with his blackboard nuts, it’s important to keep them clean between uses. Store in a cool dry place to avoid smudging. Bae’s marbles can be a waste of space. Make use of them by dipping them in chalkboard paint to help organize your life!