Sweat Ruins Day

It’s official: Steph Huang’s day has been ruined by sweat.


Earlier that morning, she had donned a light-gray turtleneck, thinking it would transition well from a morning networking coffee to work to a friend’s birthday drinks that night. She began sweating immediately.


“I didn’t factor in sweat at all,” she said. “That was my first mistake.”


As soon as Huang stepped onto the sidewalk, she immediately noticed the sweat pooling in her armpits. A sense of doom overcame her.


“I was running late,” she explained. “And I thought it might get cooler throughout the day. Even though that’s not how days usually work.”


Huang made the bold choice to walk to the café to meet local entrepreneur Kathy Munson was five minutes away, hoping to visit the cafe’s bathroom when she arrived,so she could make sure her pit stains were still in the safe zone. But when Huang arrived, Munson was already sitting at a table, and the truly damp Huang had no choice but to sit down.


“Steph seemed like she was focusing on her arm placement a lot more than any of the career advice I gave her,” Munson explained. “When I asked her if she’d be interested in a job, she just crossed her arms in a really uncomfortable-looking way. I don’t think she even heard my offer.”


Rather than crossing off any items on her to-do list or paying attention in meetings that day in the office, she chose to wonder if her back sweat was visible to the intern sitting behind her.


“It was,” said intern Rachel Menendez. “But all anyone noticed was how she barely seemed to breathe through the whole meeting.”



By the time Huang arrived at the bar that night, she was convinced that she was starting to smell.


“No, I didn’t notice a smell,” said Andrea, the birthday girl. “But I did notice that Steph didn’t hug me, and left about two hours before everyone else. Was it because of that comment I made about her boyfriend three years ago? Are we growing apart?”


Luckily, Huang has learned from her mistakes, and is planning on wearing a sleeveless white sundress to work tomorrow. The forecast predicts a high of 40 degrees and thunderstorms.