REPORT: Gonna Be An Early Lunch Day

In a developing story out of an office building in Santa Fe, it has been reported that for several employees, it’s almost definitely gonna be an early lunch day.


“Yeah, I can already feel it, gonna be lunch-hungry real early today,” said Wanda Porto, an accountant. “I’m talking maybe even like 11:15, 11:30.”


The vibe is reportedly not limited to just one department, as multiple employees in the building have expressed their intentions to take their lunch break much earlier than usual.


“I was trying to be responsible so I brought my lunch from home today,” said Loren Delgado, a marketing associate. “But I ate that lunch for second breakfast and I’m already hungry again. So it’s looking like it’ll be an 11am burrito day for me.”


“Might even be a light snack before first dinner kind of afternoon,” she added.



According to a survey of working professionals across the nation, the average lunch time is around 1PM. But under some circumstances, including mild hangovers, summer Fridays, and audit days, employees have been observed eating lunch as early at 10:30am.


“I just don’t feel like waiting in that Sweetgreen line today,” said Hanley Curry, who works in IT support. “And if that means a salad at 11:15am, then so be it.”


Sources confirm that, with so many other early-lunchers on the same page, the line was just as bad.