Russia Collusion Somehow The ‘First Straw’ With Uncle Dan
Residents were shocked to find that Michael Flynn’s ties to Russia were somehow the “first straw.”
‘Trigger Warnings Are For Cowards,’ Says Man Who Still Hasn’t Gotten Over All-Female ‘Ghostbusters’
“That film should come with a warning for guys like that.”
Miranda’s Text To New Guy Currently Under Peer Review
“Bold, declarative statements pack more of a punch, while also keeping you in a position of power.”
Woman Shares Personality Quiz Results As Though Friends Haven’t Already Met Her
“It’s nice to have control over how I’m perceived by telling people what to think about me.”
Woman Cries Herself To Sleep Over Country And Not Some Dumbass Dude For Once
“I lay in bed, feeling like something’s missing. Like the basic human decency that our country used to stand for.”
‘Let’s Focus On What’s Really Important,’ Urges Woman Who Posted 12 Times About ‘Full House’ Reunion
“Doesn’t Candace Cameron Bure look amazing?!”
‘I Can’t Read Minds!’ Exclaims Man Who Also Can’t Take Hints
Family and friends are committed to supporting him, no matter how stunted his perception may be.
Sharon to Spend The Next Four Years Patting Herself On The Back For Attending the Women’s March
“Why? Isn’t that how this works?”
Everyone Loved Megan’s Sign for the March But She’s Not Even Funny in Real Life
Others close to Megan aren’t confident she even came up with it on her own.
Wow! This Grandma Totally Misunderstood The Purpose of ‘A Day Without Immigrants’
It’s truly amazing how little she understands about the immigrant experience!
Woman’s Goal Weight is Just Fitting Between Two Parked Cars
She has since replaced all of her #thinspiration pictures on her refrigerator with cut outs from Car And Driver Magazine.
Katie Successfully Restructures Bad Idea Into ‘Adventure’
“People have only broken bones because of my so-called ‘bad ideas’ three times.”
Woman Asks Friends to Play an Inauguration Drinking Game As If Any of This Is Fun
“The party is gonna be lit!”
Baby Really ‘Taking It All In’
Three of the four asked the mother how many months old the baby was, noting, “That’s a great age.”
Woman Positive Newly Matched Dev Patel Tinder Profile is Legit
“I swiped right so fast and hard, I almost broke my finger.”
Spotify Algorithm Totally Nails Lauren’s Shitty-as-Fuck Musical Aesthetic
She likes what she likes, and Spotify understands that.