Study Finds It’s Still Annoying When Brian Says the Right Things About Male Privilege
“They don’t need it explained to them by Brian’s self-satisfied-white-man-mouth.”
Woman Listening to Sad Music While She’s Already Sad to Be Sadder
“Right now, I just want to be sad.”
Woman Who Thinks Pads Are Gross Spends Half Her Period With Wadded Up Toilet Paper Up Her Vag
She shows no signs of giving up on her impractical menstrual practice anytime soon.
Melissa Lactating Like A Fuckin’ Beast
Melissa knows people are just jealous that their boobs can’t go into beast mode.
Woman Who Gave Up on Dreams Has Advice for How to Pursue Yours
“Maybe it’ll work out better for you!”
Mom Really Hopes You Wear Nylons With That Dress
“If I had been as pretty as you, I would have worn bright pink lipstick every day.”
The Science Behind Why Smoking One Cigarette Per Day Is Honestly Probably Fine
People deserve just one and at least it isn’t meth.
‘Black People Have Ridiculous Names,’ Says Guy Who Worked for Newt Gingrich
His girlfriend, Nautica-Lynn Van Hammersmith-Lockenheim, also shares his sentiments.
Meet Dakota! The Newest American Girl Doll Who Wants To Make Sure Addy Knows How ‘Woke’ She Is
“We wanted to create a doll that speaks to the experience of a white woman navigating her allyship inappropriately.”
Woman Who’s ‘Not Into Drama’ Currently Nurturing Eight Unrelated Grudges
We admire your grit and determination!
Woman Fancies Herself Indie Darling of Her Social Media Marketing Agency
She’s “somewhere between a Greta Gerwig and a Sean Baker” in terms of artistic vision.
Are Teenagers Trying the Dangerous New Trend of ‘Bear Bleaching?’ No.
“I have no idea what Bear Bleaching is. I came here to talk about gun control.”
‘It’d Just Be So Much Easier To Date Women,’ Says Tired and Correct Straight Woman
What an accurate statement, Rachel!
Friend Who Has Been Sufficiently Flattered Today Wants to Know How You’re Doing
“Now that three people have mentioned how great I look, I’m finally ready to stop talking about myself.”
This Sexual Predator Who Got Away With It Thinks it’s Unfair That Other Sexual Predators Haven’t
“Men are under attack in this country right now.”
Aw! This Man is Making Up For Emotionally Abusing His Ex by Saying Nice Things About Her to His Friends
“I guess I’m just a good guy.”