Woman Discovered With Resting Duck Face
The condition is not life-threatening, but is indeed very hard to look at.
Shocking Study Finds Butts Contain Fecal Matter
Could your butt contain fecal matter? According to this alarming study, it’s possible.
Woman With New Boyfriend Now Refers to Hanging Out as ‘Girl’s Night’
“Amber’s never said ‘gal’ or ‘tribe’ in her whole life. Why start now?”
Study Finds Morning People Live Longer; Are Better Than You
Morning people are also 270% less likely to break down in an H&M dressing room.
Thanks to His Breakup Texts, All of Derryk’s Ex-Girlfriends Have Nice Lives
“The very next day, I asked for a promotion at work! Thanks, Derryk!”
STUDY: Average Woman Eats 6 Tubes of Lipstick in Her Sleep Each Year
“If I can eat six lipsticks in my sleep, anyone can eat six lipsticks in their sleep.”
Only Straight Guy in Drama Club Unaware He Is Still Template for Female Castmates’ Ideal Man
“When you encounter that kind of perfection at 16, you never forget it.”
Brave Mother Gradually Getting Over Fear of Teenage Daughter
“If there’s anything more terrifying that a confident pubescent girl child, I don’t know what it is.”
Woman Still Trying to Figure Out What to Call Her Mother-in-Law
She has cut “Mama Bear” from the list of possibilities.
Hillary Clinton Allegedly Used Secret Email Addresses to Cast Spells on Enemies
“I don’t need more than one email address, but then again, I’m not a witch,” says Jeb Bush.
Girl Called ‘Old Soul’ Just Wants to be Popular
“I don’t want to be wise beyond my years! I just want to be invited to one of Jenna’s sleepovers so I can try cigarettes.”
School Dress Code Replaced With ‘No Boner-Giving’ Rule
In an effort to streamline their increasingly complicated school dress code, Pope High School in Cobb County, GA has replaced...
97% of Women Rank Going ‘Lady Bald’ over Fear of Death
“The phenomenon of hair loss, as with male-patterned baldness—but on a lady head, and way sadder.”
Mother Touched That She ‘Doesn’t Totally Suck’
“This means so much, cause Jessica usually just tells her friends that I’m dead.”
Tall Woman in Car Full of Short Men Forced to Sit in Middle Seat
“It was just assumed by that I would take on the physical burden of curling up into a tiny ball, just because I’m a woman.”
Woman’s Quirks Produced Entirely by Brain Tumor
“The surgery was a success. She’s swiftly forgetting how to speak Elvish.”