I Don’t Need My Presidential Candidate to be Likable, but I Do Need Them to Know All The Lyrics to Salt-N-Pepa’s ‘Shoop’
Sure, I’ll Put My Baby Up for Adoption as Soon as I’m Out of the Foster System This trustworthy, totally functional system sure did right by me!
What Surprised Me Most About Becoming a Parent Was That I Was Forced To by The Government I am a mere vessel forced to carry out this pregnancy.
If Life Begins at Conception, Maybe We Should Cut Off All the Dicks Now Instead of going back and forth on who deserves what, we could just end this by severing every dick, once and for all.
I Believe God Gave Us All Free Will – Except Pregnant Women Someday, these women are gonna thank me for forcing them into not sinning.
Life is Sacred, That’s Why This Nonviable Fetus Should Stay Inside Me So We Can Both Die I’m so lucky to have become a mother who could soon be dead, along with her child.
Dear Disney: Why Is There No Property Brothers Ride? When will Disney break their silence on this glaring omission from their brand?
White Woman Speaks: I Prefer to Use the Term African-American, Regardless of Where a Black Person is From My African-American British barista has reminded me of that several times.
I Love Having Tattoos, But I Wish More Men Would Stop Me and Talk to Me About Them Seriously, what’s the point of having tattoos if not to get specifically guys to look at me?
Stop Asking Disabled People If We Can Have Sex And Start Asking Us How To Pronounce Sex, Because You’re Pronouncing It ‘Sax’ How do I pronounce the word spelled S-E-X?
Why I Want My Funeral to Be Open-Casket and Also Fully Nude I want to go out of this world the way I came in: with my bare boobs and clam out, for all to see.
How I Stopped Getting Unwanted Attention From Men by Running For President The future is female! And entirely invisible!
Why I’m Not Having Kids Unless Someone Leaves a Baby On My Doorstep I’m not saying do it, but I’m not not; you know what I mean?
I Lived It: My Friend Stopped Following Me Online So I Killed Her Sorry, that’s not a friend. To me? That’s a dead woman.
Dude Corner: Why I’m Not Ready for a Female President, But Totally Stoked for a Woman to Rule Westeros I am in full support of pretty much any woman ruling Westeros, as long as she is hot and does not run against Bernie.
Being a Mom Doesn’t Get Easier, But It Also Doesn’t Get Better With every passing day, I fall deeper and deeper into a hell of my own creation.
I Lived It: I Found Out My Friend Wasn’t Ugly In Middle School She was the prematurely attractive husk of the Kaitlyn I once knew.
Why I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others and Started Comparing Myself to Peppa Pig So wholesome and enviable!
Me Time For Mom: The Charmin Bears Are Obsessed With Shit and Perverted I’m sick and tired of hearing about their pervy little bear butts every time I turn on the TV.
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