I Didn’t Take His Last Name Because I’m a Feminist and Also It’s Butt
I am able to confidently stay the woman I am, one who was not born with the last name Butt.
Sorry I Didn’t Respond To Your Text! I Get Overwhelmed By Simple Tasks
Drinks soon? Oh, you already texted me about getting drinks? Sorry!!!
I’m Starting a Pin Collection So Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Quirky
Isn’t that so funny and odd of me? The answer is yes.
I Could’ve Been An Olympian If I Wasn’t So Busy Being Popular in High School
Everyone wants to go to a party hosted by an aspiring Olympian!
I Anonymously Reported My Rape for the Anonymous Attention
I just wanted to feel like a victim—without any of the actual aid or benefits of being one.
Have You Considered Spending $300 On a Self-Defense Class?
Pay for a Tae Kwon Do class or some shit so you don’t get hurt when you’re attacked.
Let Me Tell You What An Actual Witch Hunt Looks Like
Cut me down from this burning stake and I’ll tell you.
Hey It’s Me, Your Friend Who Posts Candid Photos of Everyone
One thing you need to know about me is I love photography. Or, as I like to call it, phonetography.
His Dick Was So Hard I Chipped a Tooth On It
How hard was he? Hard enough for me to chip a tooth. Hard enough that it was actually kind of sharp, like a piece of glass.
I Believe That This Crystal Is Deodorant, And That’s Enough
Deodorant-wise, I’m covered. I rubbed that crystal on my armpits this morning so all is well.
Why Women NEED Safe and Reliable Access to LaCroix
LaCroix shouldn’t be just for the privileged. It should be for all of us.
I Married A Man Because I Was So Impressed That He Could Say ‘Ni Hao’
I couldn’t be happier with my husband or with his confident misunderstanding of my entire culture.
My Horoscope Said Nothing About This Massive Fuck Party, And Yet, Here I Am
Sometimes the stars work in mysterious ways, and an evening of fuck swings and ball gags might be a part of my fate.
I’m Not Here to Make Friends, Except for Those Who Aren’t A Threat to Me Sexually
I don’t want to be your friend unless I’m the more attractive one.
They Taught Me To Smile, Not To Be Not Racist
They always told me it was okay because I was pretty. Is that not true now?
HELP! My Roommate Said We Should Buy One Doughnut And Split It
I’m sorry I cannot discuss this egregious event at greater length for it pains me to put it down here.
Women Are So Catty Except Almost Every Woman I’ve Ever Met
You see it all the time: in movies, in TV shows, in made-for-TV movies, and I guess probably in real life sometimes, too?