How to Accept You Don’t Want Kids Even Though You Want to Raise the Next ‘Naked Brothers Band’ Your kids would, at one point in their lives, throw a drumstick and wacky colored tie at you and yell, “This isn’t my dream, mom. It’s yours.”
REPORT: Millions Await Drake’s Response Regarding His BBL Scars “He had a lot to say when Megan was silent and vulnerable, but now that she said all that about him wanting to be a bad bitch, it’s crickets?”
QUIZ: Was It a Weird Dream You Had or the Trailer for JLo’s New Movie? Did Fat Joe make an appearance as your therapist?
3 Glee Covers That Are Better Than the Original, But Worse Than A.I. Mr. Krabs Singing It It’s got heart, it’s got range, and yet, it simply does not have enough oomph to unseat the A.I. Mr. Krabs cover of “Don’t Rain on My Parade”.
Woman Watches Film Solely to Join Discourse About It “How else am I supposed to know whether or not I should hate the director and anyone else who defends them?”
5 Classic Christmas Movies to Make You Nostalgic for Affordable Middle Class Housing If only they knew.
Woman Somehow More Obsessed With 2023 Troye Sivan Than 2012 Troye Sivan “I think I might like pop superstar Troye Sivan more than cherubic Youtuber Troye Sivan?”
A24 Announces They’re Done With the Emo Shit, Finally Rich Enough to Fund a Movie With Big Explosion Once you’re richer than God, then you can make Transformers: Edge of the Dark Side of the Animals of the Kingdom of Metal.
QUIZ: Which Sprouse Twin’s Mischievous Aura Are You? If given the opportunity, would you chain smoke cigarettes and spill all your secrets?
National Girlfriend Day! Here Are Four Gifts Cate Blanchett Will Love What do you get the girl who has two Academy Awards, four Golden Globes, and a husband?
6 Pedro Pascal Roles That Made My Mom Whisper, ‘That’s Pedro Pascal’ No matter what’s onscreen, she’s always ready to point out when an actor is Pedro Pascal.
‘It’s Straight out of a Wes Anderson Movie!’ Says Woman Walking Past White Man As a Wes Anderson enthusiast, she’s become pretty good at noticing when something is reminiscent of his particular style.
Fanbase of Mostly White Women Shocked to Find Out Their Favorite Singer Panders to Mostly White Women “She’s never worked with a Black woman artist until this month, but I thought she was more progressive than this!”
QUIZ: Which Member of Boygenius Are You Going to Invoice for What They’ve Done to You? Someone has to pay, goddamnit. Someone will pay…
‘Can’t Wait for the Beyoncé Tour!’ Says Woman Who Barely Makes Enough Money to Survive “Manifestation is everything,” she added. “Which is great for me because I literally have nothing else.”
‘The Bachelor’ to Require White Applicants to Submit Racist Social Media Posts to Demonstrate Eligibility “Good luck digging up old receipts when we already know them all!”
4 Movies That Will Make You Wonder If There’s Something Wrong With You for Not Crying Maybe you should go to therapy?
Method Actor Loses Entire Identity to Prepare for Role in Austin Butler Biopic It is as of yet unknown if Rash will ever speak again.