‘The Bachelor’ to Require White Applicants to Submit Racist Social Media Posts to Demonstrate Eligibility

The latest change to the hit ABC show The Bachelor comes as little surprise, as the program is now requiring all white applicants to submit their most racist social media posts to demonstrate their eligibility for the show.


Finally, the producers will no longer have to manually comb through all the contestants’ social media accounts to pick out who exactly goes all the way to the finale.


After several scandals of past contestants showing their true colors on social media, high school yearbooks, and actual statements recorded on the show, the producers of The Bachelor have realized that since their vetting process is obviously flawed, they might as well just screen for the white people who are racist and get rid of all the rest.


The next season of the popular dating show is set to feature 25 white singles (out of 30 total contestants) who have all used slurs multiple times, did blackface, and/or attended an “Old South” party in college. The show also plans for the next Bachelorette or Bachelor to be a Black person who has no idea what they’re about to be put through.



The future contestants of the program are also required to write out their apology statements for when they inevitably get canceled on social media, which must include the statements: “Time and age do not excuse my actions, but this is not a reflection of who I am today”, “I was ignorant but I’ve learned a lot since then”, and “Watch next week when I go on a two-on-one to win over the love of my life’s heart!”


According to one of the creators of the show, this is the best possible move the program can make right now.


“We’ve come under a lot of fire for repeatedly casting racist contestants over the years,” creator Jake Leiss said. “That’s why, instead of requiring diversity training or hiring more people of color to work on the show, we’re just gonna let all the viewers know beforehand that everyone here is racist. Good luck digging up old receipts when we already know them all!”


At press time, the host of The Bachelor has been replaced 28 times because each one kept defending a different racist contestant.