In a story emerging from your living room, your friend Vicky Ng got an unlimited AMC membership today. Now, she wants nothing more than to tell you and everyone in the near vicinity how fast it pays for itself.
“Single movie tickets are unreasonably expensive these days,” Vicky said upon walking through your door before saying literally anything else, not even a quick hello. “The theaters are banking on you not recognizing that you could easily save money by buying an unlimited movie pass there.”
Your other friend, Hannah Weisz, walked through the door next, which prompted Vicky to pivot and start telling her about the pass as well.
“The pass is only $25 a month, which may seem like a lot,” Vicky continued, not even making eye contact at this point, but rather pacing the apartment like a detective solving a crime. “But given that a single movie ticket averages $15 to $20 these days – depending on the theater, the date and time of the screening, and the popularity of the film – it only takes two movies for the pass to pay for itself.”
Recognizing that it did not appear Vicky would stop anytime soon, you quietly offered Hannah one of the hot dogs you were making, and you both settled down on the couch to ride this one out. After one bite of her hot dog, Hannah started motioning toward her throat, but Vicky did not notice.
“Hell, if I visit once on the weekend and once on the weekday, I’ll have paid for it in a single week,” Vicky continued with an exasperated sigh, completely ignoring that Hannah was – at this point – actively choking on her hot dog.
Vicky continued with the focus of an apex predator, saying, “You guys have to get one! It’s so easy and cheap.” She then misinterpreted Hannah desperately motioning for help as a motion of agreement.
“Yes, Hannah! Even you! Imagine how many movies you could see with an unlimited pass such as mine!” Vicky yelled gleefully, swooping Hannah up in a bear hug.
Sources at the scene confirm that this bear hug successfully acted as a Heimlich maneuver substitute, forcing the unchewed hotdog from Hannah’s esophagus. She spat it out forcefully as Vicky explained the terms and conditions of her new movie pass.
As of press time, Vicky made sure both you and Hannah promised to get a pass of your own – considering how fast they pay for themselves – and you both rendezvoused in the kitchen to determine whether Vicky noticed she just saved Hannah’s life.
