Mother Couldn’t Possibly Finish Entire Round of Antibiotics

Thoughts

I’m Not Afraid of Death. I’m Afraid of People Seeing the Inspirational Quotes I Saved on My Phone

“Stop trying to make everyone happy. You’re not chocolate.”

News

Fuck! Hike Has Elevation

“Never in my wildest dreams did I think we’d have to walk at a slight incline.”

Living

How to Hold So Much Eye Contact He Backs Off Entirely

You’ll unsettle him to his core and he’ll probably just leave. Yippee!

News

Uh Oh! Date Just Said Something That Didn’t Come Up During Background Check

Participating in authentic, off-the-cuff conversation? No, thank you!

Living

QUIZ: Do You Want Friends or Do You Want 3 to 5 People to Be in Love With You?

Define the word “friend” for us real quick. We want to see something.

News

REPORT: Basketball Happening Right Now Apparently

While it is not totally clear what is happening with the sport right now, it’s safe to say that there is something going on.

Living

How to Have It All Even Though That Sounds Like a Lot

Becoming perfect sounds like a lot of work, if we’re being honest.

News

Non-Binary Person Walking Alone at Night Unsure Whether to Be Scared or Scary

“Should I look over my shoulder? Or creep behind a woman in a way that unsettles her to her core?”

News

Should Employees Be Paid? Why People Think It’s Time

“What’s next? Poor people being able to lead happy and fulfilling lives? I don’t think so.”

I Lived it: Thoughts

I LIVED IT: I Accidentally Took a New Friend to a Place That’s Kind of Romantic

Hope she doesn’t read into these vibes!

News

Woman Who Was Excited for Summer Forgot About Sleeping When It’s Hot

Niamh is already “sweating [her] goddamn ass off in the dark, going full nakey in the sheets.”

I Lived it: Thoughts

I LIVED IT: I Can’t Go to Bed Because My Lava Lamp Finally Started Doing Its Thing

On a weeknight, no less!

Thoughts

How I Made Sure I Was Being Heard in the Workplace by Wearing Big Swishy Cargo Pants

The sound of my cargo pants rubbing back and forth transforms my entire office into a captive audience.

Living

How to Solve All Your Problems by Having a Rotisserie Chicken for Dinner

The first step is always acquiring your chicken.

I Lived it: Thoughts

I LIVED IT: I Didn’t Realize I Was Flirting and Now I Have to Go to Our Wedding

He has two kids, and they won’t stop referring to me as “the mom who stepped up.”

News

REPORT: 3-Year-Old Baby Tee Entering Preschool

The preschool curriculum is curated for baby tees of this age, with lessons like, “Cropping for Dummies” and “Intermediate French for Business.”

News

‘No, Thanks, It Makes Me Anxious,’ Says Woman Being Offered Relationship

“I think it’s time I start listening to my body and just say no.”

Thoughts

Forget ‘Golden Child’ and ‘Black Sheep’ – I Was the ‘Knife Kid’

Was I the villain in my family’s story?

News

Weaponized Incompetence? This Roommate Won’t Deep Clean Because One Time He Made Mustard Gas

“Just because one time he made a chemical weapon, now he doesn’t have to wipe down the toilet?”

I Lived it: Thoughts

I LIVED IT: The Bowling Alley Animation Played a Detailed and Ominous Portrayal of My Death

In short: I’m very, very scared.

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RECENT POSTS

Mother Couldn’t Possibly Finish Entire Round of Antibiotics

I’m Not Afraid of Death. I’m Afraid of People Seeing the Inspirational Quotes I Saved on My Phone

Fuck! Hike Has Elevation

How to Hold So Much Eye Contact He Backs Off Entirely

Uh Oh! Date Just Said Something That Didn’t Come Up During Background Check

QUIZ: Do You Want Friends or Do You Want 3 to 5 People to Be in Love With You?

REPORT: Basketball Happening Right Now Apparently

How to Have It All Even Though That Sounds Like a Lot

Non-Binary Person Walking Alone at Night Unsure Whether to Be Scared or Scary

Should Employees Be Paid? Why People Think It’s Time

I LIVED IT: I Accidentally Took a New Friend to a Place That’s Kind of Romantic

Woman Who Was Excited for Summer Forgot About Sleeping When It’s Hot

I LIVED IT: I Can’t Go to Bed Because My Lava Lamp Finally Started Doing Its Thing

How I Made Sure I Was Being Heard in the Workplace by Wearing Big Swishy Cargo Pants

How to Solve All Your Problems by Having a Rotisserie Chicken for Dinner

I LIVED IT: I Didn’t Realize I Was Flirting and Now I Have to Go to Our Wedding

REPORT: 3-Year-Old Baby Tee Entering Preschool

‘No, Thanks, It Makes Me Anxious,’ Says Woman Being Offered Relationship

Forget ‘Golden Child’ and ‘Black Sheep’ – I Was the ‘Knife Kid’

Weaponized Incompetence? This Roommate Won’t Deep Clean Because One Time He Made Mustard Gas

I LIVED IT: The Bowling Alley Animation Played a Detailed and Ominous Portrayal of My Death