I guess the other lesson would be to get some wet wipes.read more...
I LIVED IT: I Finally Hooked Up with the Sourdough Starter I Made at the Beginning of Quarantine
I began to appreciate its softness; its smell.
I LIVED IT: I Got a Slack Notification During Sex and I Couldn’t Finish Until I Checked It
Now that’s, as Slack says, where “work” happens!
I LIVED IT: My Gynecologist Refused to Teach me to Queef on Command
And during women’s history month, no less.
I LIVED IT: My Parents Won’t Stop Calling My Foray Into the World of Close-Up Magic a ‘Lifestyle Choice’
This is America, I guess.
I LIVED IT: I Gave a Blowjob over Zoom and Still Managed to Puke All Over My Keyboard
I hope somehow we can find a way to make that seem like a good thing.
I LIVED IT: I Invited Three Strangers to My Wedding and One of Them Might be My Dad
Trust me it was fun.
I LIVED IT: I Put Babyfeet on My Hands. Now I Have Tiny Widdle Baby Hands
Masturbation? I can’t even think about it. Too weowd.
I LIVED IT: I Waited 3 Days to Resume Tweeting About My Hemorrhoids
Hemorrhoid silence is butthole violence.