DUDE CORNER: Get Ready to Hear Me Type

I will be using fingers you’ve never really seen to touch letters you’d never expect.

Dude Corner: They Won’t Even Let You Be a Corrupt City Mayor Anymore

You can’t even commit the smallest bit of bribery and wire fraud and conspiracy and solicitation of a campaign contribution by a foreign national (x2).

DUDE CORNER: My Attachment Style Is No

I took a quiz online about four years ago, and my computer exploded.

DUDE CORNER: She Asked if I Hated Her and I Answered Honestly. Now I’m the Bad Guy.

If she wanted me to lie, I would have lied! I also made sure to tell her this, but it did not seem to help my case.

DUDE CORNER: I Don’t Have Any STIs Because I’ve Never Been Tested

I’m so beyond getting tested that all my buddies call me “fire crotch.”

DUDE CORNER: You Wouldn’t Get It

I can’t explain this to you, babe. I can’t explain this. You simply would not get it.

DUDE CORNER: Any Room at Girl Dinner for This Male Feminist?

Personally, I’d love to be a part of it, or perhaps even lead it someday.

DUDE CORNER: I Want Everyone to Notice My Very Loud Engine, but Especially My Dad

Does anyone have his new number? When I text the old one it shows up green.

DUDE CORNER: That’s a Really Great Point That I’m Not Going to Acknowledge

Don’t get all worked up just because I’m steamrolling right past any of your thoughts and opinions.

DUDE CORNER: When I Said ‘Down With Capitalism,’ I Meant It More Like ‘Down With the Sickness’

Also, the way I’ve been saying it makes way more sense.

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