DUDE CORNER: I Don’t Have Any STIs Because I’ve Never Been Tested

I’m so beyond getting tested that all my buddies call me “fire crotch.”

DUDE CORNER: You Wouldn’t Get It

I can’t explain this to you, babe. I can’t explain this. You simply would not get it.

Personally, I’d love to be a part of it, or perhaps even lead it someday.

Does anyone have his new number? When I text the old one it shows up green.

Don’t get all worked up just because I’m steamrolling right past any of your thoughts and opinions.

Also, the way I’ve been saying it makes way more sense.

The trick is to just keep yelling until the other person realizes how fair and balanced you are for saying it.

Buckle up, because I’ve got a whole spiel on it and you’re gonna wanna hear it.

I don’t need to put in the work because I grew up doing the work.

My wife may birth me more sons, but the end of a mask mandate is once in a lifetime.