I LIVED IT: I Can’t Go to Bed Because My Lava Lamp Finally Started Doing Its Thing

I Lived it:

On this cozy Tuesday night, I made the mistake of turning on my lava lamp to make my apartment super chill and vibey. Now, as I’m struggling to keep my eyes open two hours later, I’m regretting that decision. The purple wax has finally started to melt and create cool bubble shapes, and I feel obligated to look at it for at least an hour before I unplug it and go to bed. 


On a weeknight, no less!


I have no one to blame but myself. I read the instructions on the lava lamp, and I’ve utilized it several times before. I’m aware that it takes two hours to start doing its thing, but when I turned it on at 10 p.m., I thought surely a night owl like myself would be able to stay up past midnight, happy to be graced by the glowing ethereal energy of a lava lamp. What I was not prepared for was my strong desire for slumber. Sure, I woke up at 7 a.m. this morning, but I thought the power of the lava lamp would keep me awake late into the night.


Oh, how wrong I was…


Now, I have no choice but to stare at the hypnotizing wax bubbles for a while before I turn it off and go to bed. I need to turn the lamp off so that it doesn’t break or cause a fire or do something really cool when I’m not looking. If I go to sleep now, I could be missing out on the opportunity to see all the wax form one giant blob. 



That hasn’t happened in a month!


Sometimes I wonder if the lava lamp is sentient, if perhaps I’m hurting its feelings if I don’t give it my full attention. Maybe it will get back at me by not doing anything interesting next time, or taking even longer to melt. Maybe this is all a sign that I need to go back to therapy.


But so long as I’m awake to observe the lava lamp, I might as well put on a movie and paint my nails. I definitely won’t regret doing that at midnight.