REPORT: 3-Year-Old Baby Tee Entering Preschool

The community of Northport, MA is overjoyed to announce that Jemima Cree’s sweet little baby tee that she purchased during the trend cycle three years ago has now entered preschool.


Congrats, Jemima! This is a huge step for you and your little baby (tee)!


The crop top will be entering the Milton I. Schecter Preschool alongside other baby tees born in 2020.


“It’s normal to have mixed emotions at a time like this,” Jemima told reporters gathered at the scene. “Of course I’m excited for her to embark on this new educational journey, but it’s sad that we won’t be spending as much time together at home. I’ll miss her company – we complement each other so well!”


The first three years of the baby tee’s life have been tumultuous to say the least. Upon being purchased (conceived) in January of 2020, she received a lot of attention for being cute. The attention started to wane, however, as she entered her second and third year of life.


“In the beginning, everyone was all over her!” Jemima continued. “They’d tell me she was the sweetest baby tee they’d ever seen and that we really suited each other, but as time passed, she kind of fell out of the public eye. Hard to believe it’s already been three years!”


Sources confirm that despite the fact the baby tee is now a toddler, she has not grown at all and is, in fact, smaller than ever.


“I put her in the dryer by accident,” Jemima confessed to reporters. “But that sort of stuff happens when you’re a mom! You guys aren’t obligated to tell anyone about that, right?”


They actually are obligated to tell someone about that, but they decided to let it slide just this once.


The preschool curriculum is specifically curated for baby tees of this age, with lessons like, “Red, Yellow, Blue: Primary Colors and Which Look Good With Which Skin Tones,” “Cropping for Dummies,” and “Intermediate French for Business.”


Jemima’s boyfriend, Max Klein, is less enthused about sending the baby tee to preschool: “This is one of the most prestigious schools in the country for baby tees and honestly…it’s super expensive. We’re 21! I wasn’t ready to be a dad!”



Jemima confirmed she finds this lack of commitment extremely unsexy.


At press time, the baby tee had attended her first day of preschool and really hated it. She will be homeschooled from here on out, mainly because Jemima plans to single-handedly bring her back into style.