Non-Binary Person Walking Alone at Night Unsure Whether to Be Scared or Scary

In a story that cuts to the heart of gender and sexuality discourse in this country, non-binary 23-year-old Max Worsten is unsure whether they should be extremely scared or extremely scary on their walk home tonight. 


Talk about a ‘transgender question’!


“Before I came out as non-binary, my role in life was so simple,” Max told reporters gathered at the scene. “But now I find myself at a crossroads. When I’m walking home, should I only wear one headphone and continually look over my shoulder? Or should I creep slowly behind a woman in a way that deeply unsettles her to her core?”


Decisions, decisions! Welcome to the rest of your life, Max. 


At the beginning of the walk home, Max opted to try each role on, but neither felt quite right. 


“Being scared wasn’t fun, but being scary felt bad too, because ultimately, I do not wish to frighten anyone. Who am I?” they asked, looking off into the distance. 


While Max’s other nonbinary friends have been extremely supportive of their gender journey, this was one area where Max had to go at it alone. 


“It’s such an individual preference,” Max’s friend Carter told reporters. “I, for one, have really embraced being scary. It’s the most affirming thing I’ve done yet!”


Sources confirm that Carter’s friends have since held an intervention with them about this, encouraging them to look inward.


River, Max’s other non-binary friend, said, “You can treat dysphoria with gender-affirming care, but how can you treat the existential crisis that comes on when you’re walking home alone and it’s unclear whether you’re supposed to run home or stroll really slowly? Like, so slowly that a woman will wonder, ‘What’s their deal?’” 


Professor of Gender and Sexuality Regina Harris is encouraging Max and other gender non-conforming individuals to think beyond the binary. 



“It’s not this ‘either/or’ question of whether you should act like a man or a woman,” she told reporters. “The beauty of being genderfluid or nonbinary is that you get to free yourself from these rigid ideas of how you should act. For example, a nonbinary person could try being really silly on their walk home!”


Other options include being menacing to a man or scared of a woman. The possibilities are endless!


At press time, Max decided to forsake either option and instead call a Lyft: “I thought about it for a while and remembered it’s a pretty bad time for me to walk home alone at all!”