Did You Not Read The Pillow That Said, ‘Live, Laugh, Love’?
Rules are meant to be followed, and I don’t exactly see anyone following them.
‘Orange is the New Black’ Made Me Realize I Was in Prison
When I first saw Nicky kiss Morello, I thought, “That’s me. I’m a prisoner.”
Your Fake Perfect Life is Less Perfect Than My Fake Perfect Life
You are not doing an amazing job of fooling everyone into thinking you have a Instagram-worthy existence.
This Heavy Pour of Chardonnay is Pretty Much My First Base
It’s like junior high all over again. Butterflies. Magic.
I Can’t See What My Elbows Look Like and It’s Driving Me Crazy
I deserve to be able to see my elbows. I’m a good person, aren’t I?
I Accidentally Left-Swiped Him on Tinder
It all happened so fast. I had just Swiped Left the man of my dreams.
I Didn’t Know ‘Pumpkin Spice’ Was the Street Term for Crabs
I thought it was flavor you add to stuff?
What Did I Bring to This Party? My Fierce-as-Fuck Greeting Card Game
Giving a card is an experience. Selecting the perfect one is a skill. In my case, it’s a fucking calling.
Confessions Of A First-Grade Teacher: I Just Let Them Fuck Around All Day
I was faced with a roomful of imbeciles that could only be placated with the promise of jellybeans.
I Had No Idea I Got My Hair Cut
Offhand borderline-rude observations from work acquaintances save lives.
I Didn’t Actually Like My Friend’s Profile Picture
As her friend, I only “Like” her when she’s making good choices.
Look, I Listen To Podcasts, But That Doesn’t Mean I Know What They Are
It’s like Internet radio, right? Wait, no I Googled this – it’s an audio file. But it’s also video?
My Name Is Too Weird to Be On a Coke Can
I wasn’t just buying Coke cans: I was buying into a narrative that said You aren’t worth it.