Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Flower Girl
When will someone get down on both knees and ask me to be their flower girl?
I Don’t Hate My Ex-Boyfriend But Am Totally Okay With It If You Do
Go on, keep talking about how much you hate my ex. Trust me: I’m cool with it.
Revealed: The Many Lies of Deborah’s Facebook Page
I’m sick of all the truth-bending-turned-bragging on Facebook. How happy are you really, Deb??
All Paintings are About Vaginas
Allow me to prove how every painting shows a whole bunch of vagina in a whole bunch of ways.
Don’t Judge Me, Except On How Great I Look Today!
Judgment makes the world an ugly place. Except when you’re like “wow that girl looks great today” and you’re talking about me.
Why I’m Waiting Until Marriage To Get A Divorce
I believe that getting divorced outside of marriage is a huge mistake.
I Can’t Come Because I Have Genital Warts… I Mean Cramps
Being a woman means getting sidelined by a monthly visitor: genital warts. I mean cramps.
I’m Just Living for the Next Time a Celebrity Falls Down
Every time a celebrity falls down, I just know that the next two weeks of my life are set.
Eat, Pray, L— Actually, I’m Still Kind of Hungry
I know what is missing from my life: love. And something kind of sweet and savory at the same time.
Ways To Not Be Crazy And Listen To Me
Be the Mayor of my Kitchen and jerk me off while you grill me a sandwich.
I Just Don’t Get How to Make Sock Puppets
The ones I make have “scary teeth” according to my husband, who’s now distant.
Hollywood Needs More Ugly Roles For Beautiful Actresses
This isn’t about trying to get an Oscar, although I wouldn’t turn it down if someone offered it to me.
Why My In-Home Birth Will Be at Pottery Barn Kids
Pottery Barn Kids offers me a sense of calm that cannot be found anywhere else.
I Want A Casket That Hugs My Curves
Not everybody’s a rectangle, okay? I’m more like a voluptuous pear.
Look; It’s Either Me, or Her, or Her, or the Other One
No more of this side-girl or side-side-girl. And definitely no side-side-side girls!
Who Among Us Hasn’t Fabricated A Terminal Illness?
What has society come to, that we attack each other over a common money-making cancer scam?
I Got Catfished on LinkedIn
The internet is a cold place where nothing is as it seems: one minute you think you’re having an engaging...