Why Everyone Else’s Cough Is Gross but Mine Is Actually No Big Deal Don’t Worry First of all, my cough comes from me. Come on – you know me!
How I Stopped Hiding My Smoking Habit From My Kids by Letting Them Join Me Don’t worry, I always make sure my kids are dressed in their warmest clothes when we’re smoking outside!
I LIVED IT: My Little Sister’s Promposal Was Better Than My Engagement Obviously it is a direct competition.
Why I Stopped Dating Guys My Age and Started Dating Guys Who Were Born as Old Men and Are Aging in Reverse Thank God for Hinge settings!
I LIVED IT: The Rage Bait Worked I looked up from my phone and realized it had happened: I was enraged.
I LIVED IT: I Saw My Posture in the Mirror My body looked like that model of what a human being would have to look like to survive a car crash.
I LIVED IT: I Had to Open a DM to Find Out What It Said I only had around five minutes to respond before she thought I was a callous, cruel monster!
I LIVED IT: I Made Too Much for Dinner but Not Enough for Leftovers How did I eat 8-10 servings by myself?
Why I Want Him to Propose at Benihana so I Can Catch the Ring in My Mouth Followed of course by 18 pieces of shrimp.
I LIVED IT: Autocorrect Turned My Nonchalant Smiley Face Into a Cheeky Emoji A blushing emoji says, “I’m 14 and obsessed with you.”
Why I Quit My Full-Time Job to Focus on Hanging Out With My Unemployed Friends They wanted to play video games at 4 a.m. on a Thursday night because they all happened to wake up from nightmares at the same time.
I LIVED IT: I Asked for Someone’s Opinion on Two Options and They Chose the Wrong One I don’t want her to think that I don’t value her opinion, even though she was definitely wrong in this case.
Help! I Started a Project and Now I Have to Keep Working on It So, I just have to keep going? This is so unfair!
Why I Stopped Using Aluminum Deodorant Because It Was Locked Behind a Glass Case at CVS The idea of having to press that little button to call for an attendant just to grab a deodorant for me was too much to handle.
Why I’m Only Getting Married for the Small Chance That Rihanna Could Perform at My Wedding I’m not losing hope.
Why I Want a Guy Taller Than Me but Not Tall Enough That He Can See My Dandruff I would never list “from directly above” as one of my most flattering angles.
DUDE CORNER: She Asked if I Hated Her and I Answered Honestly. Now I’m the Bad Guy. If she wanted me to lie, I would have lied! I also made sure to tell her this, but it did not seem to help my case.