I Lived It: Black Twitter Came for Me
All because of my low-fat, low-salt, quinoa-butternut-squash-asparagus-kale-ezekiel-bread homage to soul food mac and cheese.
I Can’t Cum Unless Someone Calls Me a ‘Voracious Reader’
Nothing gets me like being told I am a good and avid reader.
I Believe Women, Unless They’re Talking About Me
You can respect them but definitely don’t believe what they say about me because it’s wrong.
I May Not Be the Prettiest Girl at The Bar, but I’m Also Not The Smartest
The point is, no woman is just one thing. We all have multitudes – am I using that word correctly?
How Having Perfect Tits Gave Me the Confidence to Go Braless
My immaculate, inoffensive breasts will not be silenced.
My Feminism is Intersectional – It’s Both White and Upper Class
My perspective as a wealthy white woman has been historically valued as more correct!
I Love My Strong, Steady Boyfriend Who Is A Ship
Maybe, in a past life, we did know each other – me a dreamy woman with an open heart and he a tall, serene ocean liner.
Christmas Isn’t About Presents, It’s About Finally Fucking Your Childhood Friend’s Hot Dad
Isn’t this what Jesus would want?
I Don’t Feel Bad About Being White, Even Though Nobody Ever Asked Or Expected Me To
I know that’s controversial to say, but somebody has to do it.
How Am I Supposed To ‘Believe Women’ When The Accused Rapist Gave Me His Extra Fries Once?
Luke didn’t assault me, ERGO, he didn’t rape anyone. Got it?
Yes It’s A Pyramid Scheme, But The Leggings Are Great, So…
I definitely don’t have 10,000 pairs of leggings in my basement.
I Proposed Because Our Schedules Line Up Scary Well
I felt sure that he’s the one for me, if only because it’s extremely convenient.
I’m Sick of Being Paid Less Than Men Just Because I Am A Teacup Pig
Call me crazy, but I’m wearing a tiny pair of red rain boots and I’m fed up with this bullshit.