I Totally Want You to Ravage My Body, But Could You Please Leave Your Shoes By the Door?
I just had the floors cleaned.
My Best Friend Got Her Life Together Without Consulting Me First
She’s just leaving me behind here where I’m quite comfortable living my slobby mess of a life.
Help! My SoulCycle Bike Came Loose And Now I’m In Chile
All I have is my water bottle and my SoulCycle bike, because I left my iPhone in my locker.
Why I Traveled Around the World Just to Get Trashed in Slightly Different Rooms
I’m a jet-setter. I’m a go-getter. But most of all, I’m pretty fucked up right now.
I Thought of a Better Instagram Caption After Someone Had Already Liked My Post
It’s honestly a nightmare scenario.
My Yoga Teacher Said to Move However Feels Good, So I’m in the Fetal Position
I choose to take the shape of a tiny baby living in the soft dirt.
Why I’m Using My Time Being Single to Dig a Really Deep Hole in My Backyard
Seriously, this thing is probably five by five feet deep now.
I Tried the RBG Workout, and Now My Body Is One Giant Fancy Collar
I feel refreshed. I feel feminine. I feel powerful.
My Love Language Is Touch, But Not When I’m On My Period, You Monster
Sex is amazing between the first and 25th of the month, after that, I will hurt his penis.
I’m a Feminist But I Love Men and Want To Fuck Them and Just Listen to Me I Promise I’m Not Even Mad
Just because I care about double standards does not mean I wouldn’t fuck a man all night long!
I Wish I Could Just Be a Lesbian So I Could Ruin That Relationship Too
Lesbians never have to deal with any of the relationship stuff we have to deal with dating men!
Sorry, I Just Think My Character Would Be Drinking More Milk
My character was just loving drinking milk, and she’s not going to apologize for that.
Because ‘La La Land’ Lost Best Picture, I’m Boycotting Jazz
Have you heard about it? I hadn’t before seeing this movie.
It’s Not You, I’m Just Dealing With a Lot Of Issues That Are Definitely Your Fault
I’m just mad at the whole general experience I’m having, that I would never be having if it weren’t for you.