Thoughts ARCHIVES

Let’s All Rave About Our Mediocre-Looking Friend!

A #FuneralSelfie Launched My Modeling Career

After 14 Years, I’m Finally Ready For This Jelly

Ebola Isn’t Over, You Know

How To Balance Doing Everything In this Goddamned House

If Women Aren’t Funny, Then Why Did I Just Leave A Huge Poop On Ryan’s Desk?

I Had to Diagnose Myself with Cancer When The Medical Establishment Wouldn’t Listen

couple in bathroom

Maybe It’s Time For You To Date Someone You Don’t Like

Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Great Ventriloquist

Everybody Knows Ponytails Don’t Swing Like That Naturally, Jenny

Actually, I’m an Intersectional Men’s Rights Activist

I Just Like Egg Whites Better

best friend stole baby name

His Dick Was Just Regular

I Dumped Him for Slayer Because Slayer Rules

Why I Make My Child Eat Straight From a Trough – And So Should You!

I Don’t Know, Jeff, Are We Ready To Order?

Me? I Make Things Out of Buttons!

I Don’t Know Why I Keep Breaking Guy’s Dicks

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