Wow, what’s going on here? This is a huge line of people in front of one tiny door. What are you all in line for? Is it a music thing? I love music. I sang in choir through seventh grade, and then I had to stop because it conflicted with my study hall. I love music so much that it’s my life’s goal to go to Dollywood. If that happens, I’ll die happy.
Are you in line for a sports thing? What sports are even happening this time of year? I just found out about MMA, and I can’t believe it’s so popular. Why would you want to see people hit each other and bleed? Does it feel cathartic to watch? Please look me in the eyes when I’m talking. You don’t seem like the type who likes MMA. You seem more like an all-American type. Is this line for a baseball game? I guess this building is kinda small for that.
Are you waiting to get into the DMV? I had a driver’s license once. That was when cars were made in America, and everybody drove drunk. Just ask your mother. She’ll remember.
Can you take a picture of me standing in this big line? I just bought this camera and I’m not sure how to use it. Let me just change out the roll of film. My husband used to do this stuff for me before he had a stroke. I’d have brought him out today but the batteries on his wheelchair are broken.
It’s interesting that you have your earbuds in, when you are about to be listening to more, louder music as soon as you go through that door. I should try headphones. I want to get out of my head! My head is the scariest place you could imagine. I used to have an analyst but he died in a questionable sexual situation back in the 70s. I think it was a gay thing.
Oh, this is a nightclub? That explains the velvet ropes and your fancy outfit. You look like a million bucks. There’s a sale on sweaters at JC Penney now. Is this your date? He looks like a character I saw in a violent movie. That movie theater across the street charges $12 a ticket. I thought this line was for that and then I realized it was over there. Do you do a lot of dancing here? Is that fun? I just love Fred Astaire. I wish I could tag along, but I have plans. I was just passing by on my way to 7-11. There are 36 coupons in my pocket.
Looks like the line is moving up. You’ve been waiting out here with me for an awfully long time! I’m so glad I was here to offer you company. So, what time do you all think you’ll be out of the show?