Let’s All Rave About Our Mediocre-Looking Friend!

Oh my gosh you guys, have you seen Jules’s new Instagram? Holy crap, she is just so beautiful. Her skin is so absolutely gorgeous in a way that makes you forget that she’s so pale. She just wears clothes with such an effortless confidence that you almost forget the fact that Heidi, who is standing right next to her, is an actual model.


So back to Jules.


Have you ever noticed how beautiful Jules’s eyes are? They’re like a golden brown that you don’t see in nature, and that’s remarkable because there are a lot of browns in nature. I don’t know if I can describe it other than to compare her eyes to the color of a winter ferret with a visible aura. It’s lovely, sort of. And Jules is so beautiful that she doesn’t even have to wear makeup – or at least she doesn’t choose to – and she still looks gorgeous, or at least more than decent, although she’d probably look just a little bit better with a dab of lipstick, but whatever. She is hardcore pretty. If you ask me, I think facial symmetry is overrated. That freckle (or is it a mole?) over her left eyebrow makes her unique. There is nobody who looks like Jules, except maybe for her sister, but she lives in Tampa.



If it’s okay with you guys, I’d like to bring up the subject of Jules’s extraordinary beauty as often as possible. Also, if you could just reinforce that message by commenting on every profile pic that Jules has ever put up, that would be cool, too. Write things like “Gorgeous!” and “Haawwwt! You should be a model!” I’m not sure exactly where we’re going with this, but I’m fairly sure it’s the right thing to do.


If you see Heidi’s profile pics, on the other hand, go ahead and like them, but just leave it at that. She doesn’t need the reinforcement. Neither does Jules, actually, as she’s married and has three young kids. But we all need a reminder of how beautiful unconventionally attractive people can be.


Some people might call Jules mediocre-looking. But if she’s mediocre-looking, then she’s the most stunningly mediocre-looking person I’ve ever met. It’s like you can feel the pretty-acceptable energy just pouring out of her. To me, that is true beauty. And to you, too – don’t forget. Because from now on, every single one of us is going to rave about Jules’s pretty-okay looks, whether we understand it or not. Even Heidi. Oh wait – where is Heidi? Looks like she’s going home early. I wonder what that’s about?