Living
Got some jizz on your new blouse? We’ve got your back, you gorgeous little stumblebum!
It won’t be anything like my (our) last relationship—we’re totally new versions of the same people!
They’ll soak up that forehead lube faster than you can say, “Why did I get bangs?”
“I would date a girl regardless of whether or not she was smiling. That’s feminism.”
Keep these stores on the tip of your tongue, and you’ll be sure to save Katie a couple of stank faces.