School’s out for summer! No more mornings racing to pack lunches, afternoons of homework battles, and evenings of side-eyes from the liquor store clerk. It’s time to slow down and soak up those long hours of sunshine with some guilt-free vino. Moms need vacation, too! However, longer days also means longer stretches of boredom for your children. It can be hard to keep them entertained. Never fear! We have some refreshing ideas to help fill everyone’s days with happiness—including yours! Here are some creative craft projects using your crate of empty wine bottles to get your kids—and you—buzzing!
Musical Bottle Thing
Did you know wine bottles make great instruments? And we don’t just mean for getting hammered—they can also make great musical instruments! Ha ha, moms love their wine! Fill each bottle with a different amount of water. Your kids can blow across the top of each bottle to make a different pitch, while you blow through a pricey Cab Franc. You don’t have to lose your mind making sure they have enough bottles to play Franz Liszt’s “Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2”, just give ’em at least three. That’ll entertain them long enough for you to get through half of The Jinx, which you’ve been meaning to watch for months.
You’ve seen these in the chicest catalogs, but why spend hundreds of dollars when your kids can glue wine corks into a wooden frame just as well as those assholes at Crate & Barrel? Don’t underestimate the cork skills of your teetotaler toddler (teetoddler—ha ha!). For moms heading into their first summer with a kid, you may want to start with just a small trivet or hot pad that only requires between nine and 16 corks. For the moms who’ve been at this a while, a larger corkboard that can accommodate a life-size family portrait may be more your speed. Gotta keep those kids busy! Gotta keep ’em busy.
Wine Bottle Lamp Base
A lamp made out of a bottle is such a summery look, like it belongs on Nantucket. Which is where you’ll be, at least in your mind, after emptying a few bottles for the little ones. They’ll spend hours trying to figure out the complex circuitry involved in actually attaching a light bulb, but you’ll be free to drink and prepare for the next craft! Ugh, kids!
Empty wine bottles make great candleholders. And you, the proud mama, can show off your kids’ designs at your next summer bash by lining the garden walkway with these glowing bottles of goodness. Place them close together for best lighting, which will require extra bottles—oh well, more wine! The best part about this craft activity is that you can spend the evening replenishing the supply of empty bottles while relaxing in the faint glow of candlelight.
Let’s face it. By this point, you’ve contributed so many bottles you don’t care anymore what your kids do with them. And in your state, any “bottle art” they cobble together now will look like it belongs in the fucking MoMA.
Get started now collecting your supplies. Your enthusiasm for these empty wine bottle crafts will get your kids pumped up and show them you’re a real hands-on mom! Kids n’ wine!!