Study Measures Self-Esteem Based On Whether You’d Date Beetlejuice

A recent study featured in Psychology Today shows a direct correlation between self-esteem and whether or not you’d date Beetlejuice. Head researcher Dr. Karen Wazowski says that in general, when posited with the question, “Would you date Beetlejuice?” test subjects’ willingness to date the ghost was inversely proportional to their level of self-esteem.


“The results are clear: Only sad women believe that he’s truly ‘The Ghost with the Most’,” says Dr. Wazowski.


Respondents who answered with comments along the lines of, “Is this a joke?” or “Are you fucking kidding me?” generally had positive body image and a strong sense of self-worth in romantic relationships. Many of the respondents in this category went on to note that, “Beetlejuice isn’t real. And even if he were, he’s dead and kind of a creep. Why are people asking this?”


Test subjects who responded with qualifiers, such as, “Would Beetlejuice pay for dinner?” or “Would there be any sex stuff or mouth kissing?” generally had average to slightly below average sense of self. Many of the respondents in this category also mentioned their need to “lose five pounds” before they could move up the level of sweeter ghosts the likes of Patrick Swayze in Ghost or Devon Sawa at the end of Casper. Subjects in this group also unanimously cited “lack of available men in their area” as their number one reason for considering ghost partners in the first place.



Subjects who said that yes, they would be willing to date the ghost, tended to have the lowest self-esteem of those surveyed. Researchers noted that people in this group even went as far as to “find the positives” in the hypothetical situation. One respondent in the group commented that, “Beetlejuice has a great sense of humor.” Another noted that she “liked his confidence” and that, while maybe not conventionally attractive, he was “fuckable.”


Many of the respondents in this third group cited “just wanting to be loved” as their main motivator for wanting a partner, as well as the fact that “any man is better than no man. Even a repulsive made up ghost man who occasionally turns into snake-like creatures.”


Researchers say that while these results show a definitive trend, more testing will be needed for conclusive results, likely involving whether or not survey respondents would date Sloth from the Goonies.