I Cut Sugar for Just Two Weeks and My Husband Left Me

Living

The Perfect Hauntingly Beautiful Playlist In Case You Die In A Fiery Car Crash On Your Way Home From Work

You don’t want to die a fiery car crash and have the wrong song playing on your iPhone.

Love and Sex

Moisturizers That Will Make You Slip Right Off Him

Heal your dry skin and destroy your ability to ride the dick.

Entertainment

We Asked These 5 Female Hollywood Directors for Martin Scorsese’s Contact Info

Wow—she’s accomplished enough to have Marty Scorsese’s digits! You go, girl!

News

Woman’s Trendy Baby Bump Ends in Untrendy Baby

“We see this a lot in this unit. Breaks my heart every time.”

Living

5 Skin Care Myths Your Mother Told You Out of Spite

Hey, this was your mom, why would she lie to you?

Love and Sex

The 5 Best Moments During the New Star Wars Movie to Touch His Dick Over His Pants

His body will be saying, “I love you” while your hand replies, “I know.”

Living

3 Ancient Grains That Will Turbocharge Your Dumps

Shovel some of these wheat-substitutes down your gullet and stay close to the bowl.

Style

How to Look Amazing During All 7 Stages of Grief

All pain is temporary, but looking good right now is forever!

Living

8 Chill Places to Have Your Baby at Work, Because You’re Still Working

Plus, who knows—maybe they’ll give you the rest of the day off!

Love and Sex

Men Share the Moment They Knew They Were Ready to Disappoint a Woman

Every man will let down a woman at some point in his life, but when does it happen? At first sight?

Style

5 Sparkly Tops That Might Give You the Hope to Keep Going

Research hasn’t yet shown that a sparkly top can actually give you the hope to keep going. But it could!

Living

Cozy Hot Toddy Recipes to Scald the Mouths of Your Enemies

Burn the throats of those who’ve wronged you with these wintery treats.

Entertainment

Women in Hollywood Speak Out About Their Makeup Routines

Keep doing you, ladies, and never stop inspiring.

Thoughts

I Went on an All-Eggnog Cleanse for 10 Days and Gained 47 Pounds

I figured, “If I’m doing a liquid diet around the holidays, it better at least be festive!”

Style

5 Pairs of Earrings That Say ‘There’s Metal in My Flesh’

These tiny ear-swords can stab your head flaps every day!

Living

5 Fun Conversation Starters for the Fake Phone Call You Make on Your Walk Home Alone

Killers only need to think there’s someone on the phone who cares about your safety.

Style

How to Pretend Like the Holes in Your Sexy Underwear Are Supposed to Be There

You don’t need to go and spend a whole week’s paycheck at Victoria’s Secret to still look sexy!

News

Woman Uses Law Degree Exclusively for Facebook Arguments

Out of all 135 online altercations she has engaged in this week, Hart claims to have a 100% success rate.

Living

5 Fonts for Your Email Signature That Say ‘Fuck This Job’

Keep using these fonts until someone higher up notices that maybe you’d be happier somewhere else.

Living

Winter Soups That Double as Spring Douches

Garnish all you want—just make sure it’s something you’ll look forward to rinsing with come spring!

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RECENT POSTS

I Cut Sugar for Just Two Weeks and My Husband Left Me

The Perfect Hauntingly Beautiful Playlist In Case You Die In A Fiery Car Crash On Your Way Home From Work

Moisturizers That Will Make You Slip Right Off Him

We Asked These 5 Female Hollywood Directors for Martin Scorsese’s Contact Info

Woman’s Trendy Baby Bump Ends in Untrendy Baby

5 Skin Care Myths Your Mother Told You Out of Spite

The 5 Best Moments During the New Star Wars Movie to Touch His Dick Over His Pants

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Cozy Hot Toddy Recipes to Scald the Mouths of Your Enemies

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I Went on an All-Eggnog Cleanse for 10 Days and Gained 47 Pounds

5 Pairs of Earrings That Say ‘There’s Metal in My Flesh’

5 Fun Conversation Starters for the Fake Phone Call You Make on Your Walk Home Alone

How to Pretend Like the Holes in Your Sexy Underwear Are Supposed to Be There

Woman Uses Law Degree Exclusively for Facebook Arguments

5 Fonts for Your Email Signature That Say ‘Fuck This Job’

Winter Soups That Double as Spring Douches